Save Me
by SiempreCrystalClear
Summary: Bella is raped in Seattle on a school trip. Alice and her girlfriend Rose help Bella get back to day to day life. Soon Rose's cousin Jasper comes to live with her due to his own family problems and sparks an interest in Bella. Co-W Can't Decode Me AH OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Hey there! New story time! Thanks in advance to Can't Decode Me for co-writing this with me, and all of you who favorite/alert/review. It means so much to me (us)! We hope you all enjoy and please take the time to review if you can! It is so important to us to let us know what you think!**

**We don't own twilight. :(**

**BPOV (CDM)**

"Help!" I screamed, it was quickly muffled against the coarse skin of his hand. Salty tears streamed down my face as I felt his disgusting wet lips attack my neck and listened to the vile groans of pleasure come deep from his chest and mouth. His hand, the one that wasn't keeping me quiet, groped me everywhere. Roughly. His hand traveled up my teal coloured blouse, the one that my best friend Alice had bought me for my birthday this past year, and grabbed my breast with too firm a grip. I screamed in pain again. But no one heard me.

I kicked my legs the best I could and writhed in pain and fear, his arms locked tightly around me stopping me from trying to get away. I sobbed, my sides and chest aching from my smothered screams and lack of air. _God, please help me. Please save me. _I began to pray, the only other thing I knew to do, and just hoped that someone would save me from this awful man.

My back soon pressed against the rugged, coarse brick alley wall. It was dark, I could barely see a thing. There were no windows up the walls, no fire escapes from trashy apartments, I couldn't even see a road down the end. I was trapped. Trapped in this hell and no one was going to save me. The man moaned his time, loudly, as he rubbed himself against me. I could feel him everywhere. I felt dirty. And this was dirt I would never be able to wash off.

His hands ripped my shirt down the middle and peeled it off me, discarding it with all the other trash that plagued the gross grimy ground around us. I took that as my moment of opportunity. I pushed him away as hard as I could, he wasn't expecting me to move, and started running away from him but I didn't make it far enough.

I tripped on a hole in the ground and he grabbed me by the ankle, dragging me across the gritty tar pavement back to him. I cried and screamed louder as he slapped me, kicked me, scratched me. "Stop! Please!" I wailed.

"I told you to shut up!" He roared as he drew out a knife. The metal gleamed only slightly under the moonlight. I bit my lip and tried to stop my irregular breathing, but I couldn't make breathing slow. My chest was heaving as my heart raced frantically. It was on a marathon, a marathon my feet couldn't make. It was trying to run away from this man. From this man who wanted to destroy me and defile me.

"Good," he smiled. His teeth were stained but straight and his breath smelled like liquor and cigars. "Now be a good girl and behave and I won't have to use this to straighten you out."

I nodded as teas rushed down my face. You'd think I would' run out by now but they just kept flowing with no end. The man pulled me back deeper in the shadows and through me up against something hard and cool. It was metal and sticky. I could smell the trash in the dumpster and feel the overflow around me.

The man laid me down by it and sat on top of me, his hands groping my breasts through my bra as he grinded into me through his jeans and my dress pants. I shook my head just crying and praying for help, praying that it would stop. My body ached everywhere from where he hit and kicked me. It screamed for relief that it would never get. Then he stopped with a grunt and got off me momentarily.

Only, I realized, so he could pull my pants off. I squeezed my legs shut and locked my ankles together, trying to keep him away. Then I felt the cool metal of the knife meet the material of my pants by my waist. I cried as I felt it pierce me ever so slightly before he reached and ripped my pants apart and continued to take them off of me.

I lay in the dark dirty alley with a man in only my bra and panties. I cried and attempted to move my arms to cover myself but it's no use. _God please. God, please save me. Don't let me die here. Don't let him kill me._When he next claims on me, I can feel him at my entrance. I shake my head and scream, "Get off me!" at the top of my lungs. I get slapped in return and my underwear is pull aside for him. He entered me roughly and I sobbed harder as my virginity was taken from me. Something I had been saving for the person I fell in love with or the person I was going to share my life with was now it's gone. Taken by the devil himself.

"Help me!" I screamed, he didn't even try to silence me know. His face held a vile grin as he ruined me. His disgusting moans and grunts made me sick as he raped me. Raped me. Rape. The word itself scared me. _God please!_ I cried for my final time before I gave up hope.

Then suddenly he was off me, and it wasn't planned. It heard his groan in pain and after a bit of shuffling I quickly curl up in a ball against the dumpster, trying to keep myself safe (even though it wouldn't help if he tried again).

"You sick mother fucker!" I heard a man yell, a different man. It was a different voice, more valiant, less evil. I covered my ears as I heard them both fighting. I could hear their punches and groans echoing thought the empty alley, as I stayed curled up in my ball. _Save me God, don't let that man touch me again Lord._ Suddenly I heard a cry of pain and I couldn't tell who is was from but a clatter of the knife followed it.

My exhaustion finally caught up with me from my fear, my crying, my beating, my… rape. Everything around started to spin and grew darker than it already was. Soon I felt a hand on my shoulder and I shook it off and cried again.

"Whoa hey," a soft voice murmured. "You're fine now. I'm not going to hurt you. He's gone. He can't hurt you any more."

It was a voice of an angel. This voice saved me, I was alive. I was going to live.

"Jesus," he muttered to himself. Shortly after that I felt cloth against my knees. "Here, put this one. It's a shirt to cover yourself up."

I can barely move to put it on and I noticed the man turn around so he wouldn't look at me. And I saw something light up. A phone. His smooth voice filled my ears again. It calmed me in a scary way. "I want to report a rape. In the alley off Gerard and Buckley. I don't know. Yes. I don't know. No. Yes. Okay. Yes."

I stayed in ball, in attempts to protect myself. He may have saved me but I don't know what could happen now. Maybe I was dead, maybe this was the last piece of my mind working before I died, imaging my savior. Imaging something that would most likely never, ever happen. I continued to cry through my puffy, swollen, painful eyes and everything around me grew darker.

"Hey," he said. "You need to stay with me. You need to stay awake until the help comes. I don't know if you have a concussion or not."

"I can't…" I cried. "I… please don't hurt me."

"I'm not going to hurt you," he murmured. I can feel him sitting next to me, maybe an arm length away. "Help is coming."

"Aren't you already the help?" I whispered as I slumped against the dumpster.

"Whoa! Hey!" he exclaimed. "Stay with me. We are waiting for the _professional_ help. I'm just the average vigilante."

I felt him reach out a touch me lightly. I pulled away and took a deep breath. I knew he was just trying to be helpful but all I could feel was _his_ coarse skin against mine, hurting me everywhere.

"You're freezing," the guy murmured. "Here." He handed me another article of clothing, gently laying it over my legs. It was cool in Seattle but surprisingly not plagued with rain. It's never very warm here anyways.

"Thank you," I whispered. "For…"

"Don't worry about it. I don't need a thank you," he explained before a bright light shined down the alley.

"Hello!" a woman's voice called, it sounded very official.

"Down here!" the guy called next to me. Then to me he said, "Can I help you to them?"

I nodded slowly with my eyes closed, I can't remember the last time I had them open. I feel strange in his arms as he scoops me up and carries me toward the light. Suddenly I can just catch a glimpse of the flashing red and blue lights through my aching blinking eyes. He set me down on a padded surface and I can hear women and men talking to me and to him. He doesn't answer very clearly.

"I don't know," he kept repeating.

Soon I'm jostled and it scared me but I'm quickly soothed by a woman who almost sounds like my mother. "You're fine. You're safe now. We are taking you to the hospital."

Then I let go and everything around me gets dark. I don't care anymore. He's gone, he won't touch me again. I'm safe here. _Thank you Father for my savior._

**APOV (SCC)**

I started to panic after every minute that passed by, this never happened. Bella was always responsible, and always answered her phone. If she didn't, she called or texted back within a few minutes. I have never been this worried before, it has been a while since I heard or saw of her. She told me she was going off with Jessica and Lauren and that she would be back soon but if it was me, I would have ditched them and found another group. I knew that it was a school field trip and all, but what if something happened? It was getting late and I was growing more and more worried, and Jessica and Lauren both had nothing to say for Bella's disappearance. They came back to the rest of us telling us that Bella had been right with them, but the minute they turned the corner by the alley she was not along their side anymore.

"I looked around the area, but I didn't want to get lost going too far out of the way, plus Lauren had looked back from where we had just came, but we still can't find her." Jessica said.

"How could you do this? There's only three of you! Is it seriously that hard to notice that one of you is gone?" I shouted, my anger taking over. I needed to think logically, this was not the time to go ranting off to those bitches. That would just be wasting my time, and with Bella missing, time was crucial.

I did the only thing I could think of at the moment, calling the first person I knew would answer right away and know how to handle the situation.

"Hello?"Rose answered the phone, clearly not expecting me to call right now.

"Rose! You need to help me! I'm freaking out and I don't know what else to do and-" Rose cut me off by shushing me.

"I can only hear you if you don't mush all your words together. Now take a deep breath and tell me what's wrong." Rose said calmly, not understanding the importance of what was going on.

"Bella's lost!"

"What do you mean Bella is lost?" Rose asked, confused.

"She was supposed to be in a group with Lauren and Jessica on our field trip just now, but those little bitches lost her! They said that one minute she was there with them and the next minute she was just gone." I breathed heavily into the phone, full of worry.

"Are you sure she didn't just go somewhere?" Rose said logically, stating the obvious.

"Rose, since when does Bella just 'go' somewhere and not say anything? It's not like her."

"Okay, true."

"Something could have happened to her! What if she is kidnapped or hurt or-"

"Ali, you need to calm down. Everything will be alright. I'm sure Bella is fine and this is all just a misunderstanding. I think you just need to wait a few minutes and relax, and she'll turn up. She's a smart girl and knows her way around, and if she happened to get lost, she'll find her way back. She couldn't have gotten too far, right?"

"I guess so. I just hope she's okay."

"You just need to calm down a bit. Give it a few minutes. I'm sure everything is fine. But you'll let me know when you see her again, won't you?" Rose asked.

"Of course. As soon as I know."

"Okay. Call me if you need anything else. And please, Ali, don't panic, everything is okay. I love you."

"Okay. I love you too. Bye," I hung up the phone, the reassurance and advice Rose gave me was sinking in, but I still had this gut feeling that something wasn't right, and I couldn't shake it, no matter how hard I tried. Then there was a knock on my door from Mrs. Klein.

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what is going on in your head :)**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey! Thanks in advance to Can't Decode Me for co-writing this with me, and all of you who favorite/alert/review. It means so much to me (us)! We hope you all enjoy and please take the time to review if you can! It is so important to us to let us know what you think!**

**We don't own twilight. :( (but we wish we did!)**

_Two Months Later_

**BPOV (CDM)**

_I should leave right now, no one is keeping me on this ground_

_Move out to somewhere south where the weather is warm and I feel less doubt_

_Maybe I'm running from what I know; something is different_

The Dangerous Summer filled my room as I waited patiently and alone for Alice and Rose to come pick me up. Apparently it was school registration for Seniors today, and this would be one of my first outings in a big group of people since my… Seattle choir trip. Needless to say I was nervous.

"Bella!" my name rang out as Alice announced herself.

No matter how hard I fought it, I couldn't fight the chill, the alarm that coursed through my body. A single sound, a single touch, made me want to scream, cry and brought the feel of _his_ hands on my body. It brought back the dirt I scrub off every morning in the shower. I took a deep shaky breath, _come on Bella_, and another until they were stable and calm.

Then I heard Rose shush Alice loudly, almost in a scolding fashion. "Ali, we gotta tone it down."

I silently thanked Rose for trying to be helpful. Over the course of these couple months Rose and I have definitely grown closer. Of course since her and Ali have been dating since Sophomore year, we were already friends and such but Rose has always just been Alice's girlfriend to me. We haven't alway been the best of friends, especially when they first started dating.

Rosalie Cullen, with her golden blonde flowing hair and summer grass green eyes, was the picture of perfection and made almost every girl around her pale in comparison. She could be a supermodel with her beauty and yet she is one of the most modest girls you will ever meet. And that made me hate her even more when I met her. Not only had she been stealing my best friend away from me but she made me feel so drab and plain around her, as if I needed to feel like that anymore than I already did (even though now that's all I want to feel like).

Clad in black and white dyed skinny jeans with my favorite Abbey Road mocking astronaut moonwalk t-shirt, I descended downstairs to meet my friends who sat in my living room like they owned the place. Alice, of course, was sprawled out on my couch with her spiky black hair in Rose's lap while Rose sits casually with her red stilettos resting on the coffee table. I grabbed my black faux leather purse and threw on my Chucks before clearing my throat.

"Can we go now please?" Alice begged as she looked between Rose and I.

With a small laugh I nodded in agreement, "Sorry I took so long. I was just finishing up."

"No worries Bella," Rose smiled as she weaved her fingers through Ali's. They look so cute together. I envied them for having each other.

In the backseat of Rose's red BMW, my legs wouldn't stop bouncing with anxiety. I knew these people, I grew up with these people but no matter what I could't shake my fear. What if they wanted to hurt me? What if they wanted to ask me a bunch of questions? I didn't want to relive anything here, I wanted to bury it and get it as far away from me as possible. I didn't want _him _haunting me more than he already was. I didn't want _him_ visiting me again during the day like he does at night when I sleep.

When we pulled into the school parking lot, my hair was a mess from running my hand through it and I was on the verge of tears.

Ali's face alone broke my heart as she reached out to hug me but Rose stepped forward and grasped my hands tightly. They stopped shaking immediately, Rose's positive glint in her eye and comforting touch was enough to soothe me in this moment.

"Deep breaths Bella. Take it one step at a time," Rose murmured before she reached out twisted my hair between her fingers. She was miracle worker. Within two minutes she had my hair beautifully braided on the side which made it look much more tame than it was before.

"There," Rose smiled as she looked at Ali for approval.

"Picture perfect," Alice joked as she linked her arm through mine gently. "Let's rock this bitches."

_Please don't let my legs give out on me now, Lord._

**APOV (SCC)**

I got out of the car following Bella and Rose, grabbing the keys from Rose's purse and locking the car behind us. We slowly walked towards the front door of Forks High School, and I looked over and saw Bella's face turn worried. Before I could say or do anything, Rose's hand was on hers and was squeezing gently. I watched them, wondering if there would ever be a way that I could help Bella. I knew that Rose was good at giving advice and helping out with this kind of stuff, that was clear, but I wanted to help Bella too. She was my best friend, and not that I was jealous of the two of them, I just don't understand how Rose can relate to Bella in this way so well when she hasn't really in this way before.

"It's gonna be okay Bella," Rose said, and looked at me. I sent her a reassuring smile as we went into the door. The first station we had to go through was to get our paperwork for this school year. Rose led the way, followed by Bella and I. She grabbed three of each of the colored papers set out on the table, passing them back to us while she strutted on in her red stilettos, which went nicely with her black skinnies and black and gray striped top. How she walks in those heels all day still gets me, I couldn't do it even if it was my style. Bella seemed more comfortable than when we had left the house, but I knew that she was still afraid and timid.

We next had to get our picture taken for yearbook. Rose fixed Bella's hair one last time in line, putting stray pieces tucked gently behind her ears. She also added a touch of lipgloss to Bella's lips, and smiled at her, before adding some to her own.

Rose turned around to me and kissed me quickly, smiling against my lips. "You look beautiful, baby." I was wearing a cream and gray knit loose sweater with wide stripes, dark washed skinny jeans, and faded black converse. A typical outfit for me, I wasn't one to dress up for much, let alone school registration.

"Thank you, so do you." I smiled back. Rose always looked good, no matter what she wore. She could be in sweats and she would still look absolutely drop dead gorgeous.

Bella walked up to the camera, and the man started to come closer to her, trying to help her position right for her picture. She slowly started to back away, and Rose took a step forward so she ran into her.

"It's okay Bella, he is just trying to help you so you look better in the picture." Rose gave Bella a small gentle push forward, and with shaky steps, Bella walked back up. Soon the camera flashed, and I wondered how real Bella's smile would look in the picture.

Rose soon stepped up right into place, and the camera man didn't even have to move her really. She took one snap and was walking through, and I'm sure her picture looked absolutely stunning. I walked forward next, siting on the stool, and looking straight at the camera. I smiled small, and then quickly got up and left. I hated getting my picture taken.

"Hey, I have to go to the office and pick up some paperwork for Jasper. Do you guys mind waiting here for a few minutes?" Rose asked.

Bella shook her head, stepping towards me. "No not at all, take your time. I think Bella and I were going to check out some club information stuff anyways." I replied.

"Sounds great. You wanna meet back here in like 15?"

"Sure." I said, while Rose walked down the hall towards the front office. I looked at Bella and saw her sad eyes.

"Hey hey hey," I told her, "It's okay."

"I don't like being here." Bella replied quietly, almost so that I didn't hear her.

"But you know all these people, remember. Most of them you have known for years." I pointed out.

"I know.. but all the rumors.. and commotion. I am not used to this amount of people." She whispered.

"I know, Bella." I wrapped her in a hug, "Remember, though, they won't hurt you." I squeezed her before letting go. "Come on, let's go sign you up for something. We can do this together." I tried to sound as reassuring as I could, but I don't know if it worked.

I took her small hand in mine, and enlaced my fingers in hers.

"What sounds good?" I asked gently, trying to get her okay with signing up for something.

"I don't care, I just want to have something to do to look good on a college application."

"Right…so how about book club? You love to read. And when I am in the mood, I do too. We can sign up together." I said.

"Okay." Bella said. I signed both Bella and I up on the sheet, before walking down the hall to meet Rose. As if on cue, she came stomping down the halls, ferocious and sexy as anything, but I could tell she was pissed.

"What happened?" I asked, before getting cut off by her yelling.

"Those sons of a bitches! They couldn't even give me what I wanted, and I didn't ask for much! Seriously, how hard is it to get paperwork together? They sit in a fucking office all day anyways!" She ranted, fuming.

"Rose, it's alright. We can just come and get it another day." I said sensibly.

"That's the point, I don't want to come back. It is inconvenient!" Bella just stood there speechless, while Rose continued to banter on, before noticing Bella's facial expression.

"Sorry Bella… I didn't mean to yell.. I just got annoyed and-"

"It's fine, Rose." She said small, trying to force out a smile.

"Shall we go before Rose blows the roof off?" I joked playfully, laughing at Rose.

"Yes, because those bitches piss me off." She said seriously, but I could tell she was cooling off a little bit.

"It's okay babe, we'll get it all worked out." I said while we started to walk out of the building. Thank goodness registration was over, I didn't know if Bella could handle anymore today.

**Thanks for reading! Please let me (us) know what is going on in your head :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey! Thanks in advance to Can't Decode Me for co-writing this with me, and all of you who favorite/alert/review. It means so much to me (us)! We hope you all enjoy and please take the time to review, and read the A/N I have written at the bottom!**

**We don't own twilight. :( (but we wish we did!)**

**APOV (SCC)**

I sat back on the couch, watching TV casually, and Rose walked in the room.

"I can't wait to see him, it's been a while." Rose said with a smile on her face, sitting down next to me.

"I can't wait to meet him too, honey." I replied, smiling back at her.

"We seriously need to catch up, it has been way too long since we have actually spent some real time together."

"Yeah, that sounds cool." I agreed.

"I feel bad for him, I mean with all the problems he has had at home, I just want to help him and make him feel welcome and all that, you know?" She said, looking directly at me,.

"Yeah I getcha. I feel the same way. I am glad you are excited he is coming." I said genuinely, leaning over to kiss her. I felt her smile against my lips before she pulled away.

I was excited to meet Jasper, it seemed like Rose was really close to him, and to see how her face lit up when she talked about him coming to visit, it made me happy for her. I have wondered what he was like, and to see Rose that happy about it just made me happy too, for her. I hadn't seen Rose this happy about something in a while, which made me wonder why they were so close. Since I never met him I was curious. It wasn't a bad thing, I was so glad that Rose had someone like Jasper to talk to and be happy about when he came to visit, and I was just trying to understand their relationship. Not that I was jealous. Obviously because they are cousins.

I got up off the couch, and walked to the foyer, grabbing my shoes to put on. I sat back down and started lacing up my light blue brass studded Aldo high tops and as soon as Rose saw me getting ready she shot up off the couch as well.

"You ready to leave honey?" she said, grinning. She wasn't paying much attention to her black stilettos, tripping over one of them on the floor before picking them up and sitting down to put them on.

"Yes, we do have to pick up Jasper at 3:30 at Port Angeles airport, correct?" I asked, confirming.

"Yes, baby." Rose stove up and walked to the door, grabbing a light jacket and her black leopard coach purse. When I grabbed my wallet off the coffee table, we headed out the door.

At the car, I opened the door for Rosie and shut it when she got in, and then jumped in the driver's seat. I started the car and we were off to the airport.

When we arrived there, Rose found a parking spot for me, and we both got out and cleared the backseat off of junk. Rosie came up and kissed me deeply, wrapping her hands around my waist. She was much taller than me in her heels so she had to lean down.

"Are you ready baby? I know how excited you are." I asked her.

"Of course, I can't wait." She replied. We walked hand in hand through the airport to the luggage pick up where we were allowed to be.

"Do you know from what direction he is supposed to be coming from?" I questioned.

"No idea. But there is a board over there." She pointed to the right wall, and we walked over there. "Terminal K, so… I think that way, since flight 2193 is in terminal K." Rose thought aloud. We walked back to the conveyer belts, and soon enough Jasper was walking from the left, a black backpack slung over his right shoulder. Rose walked over to him, and he swallowed her in a huge embrace. I stood next to her, taking in Jasper's muscular form. He was stronger than I thought he would be.

"I missed you Jasper," I heard, muffled in his shoulder.

"Me too Rose, it's great to see you." She pulled back. "You look great, by the way." It was true, Rose did. She always looked gorgeous, but she was rocking it today wearing a gray cardigan with a black cami underneath, faded light blue jeans, and black stilettos. She also had an owl ring on her middle finger and a pocket watch around her neck. She looked absolutely adorable.

She took my hand in hers. "Jasper, I'd like you to meet Alice, my amazing girlfriend." I smiled, and was wondering if he wanted to shake my hand, but instead he quickly pulled me into a hug.

"It's so nice to finally meet you, I've heard a lot about you." Jasper said. I turned and gave Rosie a skeptical look. "All good things, of course." Jasper laughed, and Rose and I chuckled with him.

"Are your bags supposed to be coming soon?" Rose asked Jasper.

"Uh, yeah. I think they should be here any minute now." He said, smiling slightly. Rose and Jasper didn't look much alike with his blue eyes and hers green and his hair was a dirtier blond than Rosalie's strawberry color, but I could tell that there was a little bit of resemblance somewhere down the line.

We waited for Jasper's two duffles to come in, and then we left the airport. Jasper grabbed a duffel and set it in the trunk, while I grabbed the second one and did the same.

"Thanks Alice." He smiled.

"No problem, you can call me Ali if you want." I smiled back. Jasper hopped in the backseat, and Rose and I sat in the front. On the short way home back to Forks we talked mainly about Jasper's family, and what he did normally during the day.

"So Rose tells me you are in the choir at school." Jasper asked me, making conversation.

"Yeah I am, I love singing," I responded.

"That's cool, I play a little keys but that's about it" he commented. I told him that was awesome, I had always wanted to play piano since I was little, and was fascinated by people who could.

We pulled into the driveway and we all got out of the car. Jasper grabbed his stuff from the trunk, he said he could handle it, and went for the front door. As we entered Rose and I watched him set them on the hallway floor gently.

"Wow, this place is beautiful. I haven't seen it in years." Jasper commented, admiring the artwork framed precisely on the walls.

"Esme?" Rose called, her voice echoing throughout the silent house.

**JPOV (CDM)**

Esme came rushing into the foyer of the house with a warm smile as she looked at me. "Jasper!" she exclaimed.

"Esme," I greeted her, hugging her tightly to my chest while lifting her off the ground. I felt like a tower standing next to all three the girls at my 6'5" height. Setting her down, she wiped her her eyes quickly and smiled softly at me.

"Well Carlisle will be home in about an hour, " she started, looking at Alice, Rose and I. Then she directed her attention to Ali. "Will you be staying for dinner, honey?"

"If the offer is open, of course." Alice replied with a smile.

"If the offer is open," Esme scoffed with a smile before turning to Rose. "Rosalie, take Jasper up to his room and Alice you can come with me and get to work."

"Sure thing," Alice smiled before pulling Rose down to give her a quick kiss.

"Oh and Jasper," Esme said as I picked up my bags. "Take off that big jacket, you won't need it in this house."

"Yes ma'am," I drawled, my Texan roots coming out. I followed Rose up the winding staircase silently and paused when we stood outside the door at the end of the hall.

"Ready?" Rose giggled.

"Jesus, Rose what have you done?" I asked staring at the door, now worrying about what was behind it.

"Nothing," she smiled. "You're up in the attic, so there's more stairs."

"Better than the basement," I muttered as I followed her up.

I let out a low whistle as I dropped my bags by the black desk. "Shit Rosalie. You guys didn't have to do this."

She smiled and shrugged. "We wanted to, most of it we had Peter and your Dad send over so you can make it feel a little more home-y, there are still a couple boxes in the closet over there."

I stepped over to her and hugged her again. After that she left to go help with dinner and told me to settle in. I slipped off my worn black leather jacket and hung it off the desk chair before starting to unload my two bags. It's sad that only two bags could contain my whole life. The stuff Peter and Tom sent over were small things that I don't even give much thought to. A couple pictures, posters and bedding-that I forgot to pick up at Peter's.

Peter was my best friend, he has been since I met in him in seventh grade after moving to Seattle. He wasn't my usual crowd either but at that point I didn't know what my "crowd" was. I guess I still don't. I've always been pinned as a punk by most adults since then though. I picked up the only picture I own of my mother and I, and stared at it taking a seat on my new bed. I gazed down at my beautiful mother with her soft flowing locks of gold and hollywood blue eyes, she was an angel and Rosalie reminded me so much of her.

With a sigh I placed the picture on my bedside table and looked around the room. It was massive, and I wasn't used to so much space. Even at home with Tom I just had room for a queen bed and a dresser and of course that left no room for walking. And at Peter's I slept on the couch in the living room, having to pack up my stuff every day before going to work. Peter's mother, Sandra, was the sweetest woman you would ever meet (besides Esme) but when she had Peter at sixteen, his dad didn't want to really stick around, she had to drop out of high school and work her ass off to provide for him. She still works two jobs full time to this day and some days it's even not enough.

That was one reason I hated leaving Seattle. When I left Tom's, I brought in a third income to the house for her. Peter told me not to worry about it, but we both knew that he would need to get a job when I left even though Sandra refused to make him work. All she wanted was him to do well in school, and he did. We both did, at least I did when I attended. I guess the desk in this room was for homework. I know Carlisle and Es are very adamant about that stuff.

Looking around I then noticed something I should've a long time ago by the window. Facing out to the backyard sat a Yamaha full keyboard with ha perfect black leather bench. I sat down calmly and turned it on, my fingers pressing the keys lightly. I looked at my watch, and I figured I had time to play a quick piece. My fingers caressed each key legato and staccato forming the music, filling the empty room.

As I finished off the piece, I just sat on the bench and stared out window until my phone started ringing. Looking down at the caller ID I sighed with a smile.

"Hey Pete," I answered.

"So how's silverware treating you?" he joked.

"_Forks_ is good, I've missed Rose. You know that, and Esme."

"Yeah, yeah," he chuckled. "So basically I called because I walked in the fucking house and didn't find your lazy ass sleeping on my couch before your night shift. So now I'm stuck here by myself on an empty fucking couch."

I rolled my eyes at his complaining and sweet talk. "You poor fucking thing," I chuckled. "Why don't you call that girlfriend of yours over? What's her name again?" I joked.

"Oh _her_," he goes along. "Damn it, I forgot again."

"How's she doing?" I asked seriously.

"Charlotte's good. She's coming over a little later after her old man leaves for work."

"What's she doing back at home?" I asked, standing up. "You should know better."

"Why the fuck do you think she's coming here? Since you moved out, she might as well move in here." Peter explained.

I nodded on the phone, and then said "Good," realizing that he couldn't see me. "Please, have her call me tonight?"

"Don't worry about it. We'll be fine," Peter said. "Anyway, any hot chicks? How's your cousin's girlfriend?"

"You're disgusting. Peter you better shut the fu-" I stopped short when I noticed Esme standing in the doorway. "fudge up. Pete I have to go. Have her call me later. Bye."

"Bye Bro."

I hung up and gave Esme a wary look. "Sorry Es."

She gave me a stern look before smiling, "Don't use it in the presence of a lady and I won't say a word."

I nodded and followed her down stairs to the kitchen where Carlisle was now present. We exchanged a brief hug before Rose came over and hugged me again. She remained by my side with her arm around my torso until dinner. Esme smiled at us lovingly before rubbing Ali's shoulder.

"I'm afraid you don't get Rosalie all to yourself tonight," she told her.

"I guess I can share tonight," Alice smiled in response.

"Love you babe!" Rose sang and Alice rolled her eyes.

"Of course you do," she laughed.

While Ali and Esme plated the table, Rose reached up and ran her fingers over the tattoo on my shoulder. A black blooming rose took up my upper bicep in tribute to my mother and Rose. When Esme announced dinner was ready, I pulled Rosalie to the table with me. "Come on Stinker," I teased.

Once we were all served and eating, Esme looking across the table to Rose, who was sitting next to me, with a serious face. "Where is Bella tonight? Didn't you invite her for dinner?"

The mood of the room went cold between all of us, and I could tell by that, that it wasn't my place to ask who that was or what was going on. Rose nodded next to me, "I did invite her but she told me she just wanted to stay home tonight. She said she wasn't feeling well, but we're taking her out to lunch tomorrow."

I watched Esme nod before she took another bite of salad. "I don't like her home alone when Charlie has to work night shifts. I never have liked it and I especially don't like it now."

"I'm going over there tonight when Rose and I finish up some stuff to stay the night Esme. She's actually with my mom though," Alice explained. "Bella needed music session."

Rose smiled at me, "Ali's best friend, well our best friend, Bella plays the piano for the choir at school but she also has a crazy set of pipes."

"My mom's the music teach at Forks High School and she gives additional music lessons to whoever asks in town. Bella landed a solo this year for the Christmas concert." Alice smiled.

"That's great," I forced a smile. I could tell they were trying to lighten it up on the current topic, and I hated not knowing what to say. Hopefully Rose would tell me about it later. "My friend Peter's girlfriend Charlotte has quite the voice, but she doesn't sing at school or anything."

"How is Peter? I mean we went out for lunch with him back when we came to visit two months ago but that was it." Esme asked.

"He's doing good, he's looking for some work at the moment but other than that he's taking good care of Sandra."

"Bless that woman's heart for taking good care of you," Esme said. "If I had known any sooner…" she trailed with a frustrated look.

I looked between Rose and Esme and then at Alice, wondering how much they told her but when I saw how confused Alice was I thanked God. "Esme, it's fine. Besides I felt better helping out Sandra when she practically took in me and Charlotte."

"Is Charlotte the one with red tips in her hair?" Rose asked.

I nodded, "Well, was. Yes. She went a little more dramatic now." I pulled my wallet out of my black jean pocket and handed it to Rose. She set her fork and knife down to look at the picture I had in there. She whistled and got up to show Alice. They both smiled and giggled at the picture.

"Okay, no offense Rosie, but she's hot," Alice commented with a smile.

"I love her blue hair!" Rose exclaimed. "So this is recent then?"

I nodded, "Yeah her, Peter and I took um last month I think at the mall."

"That's great!" Rose smiled.

After dinner, and when the plated were all cleaned up I retreated to the front porch to have a quick smoke, hoping no one would notice. Of course to my luck Alice wasn't staying any longer so as Rosalie stepped out I took one last drag and put it out. She glared at me before saying her good byes to Alice, which when of course I turned my back to them to give them a bit of privacy. Rose and I watched Alice drive off and I put my cigarette back in my mouth even though I had no intention of smoking any more.

"You told me you quit Jasper Casey Whitlock!" Rose glared with her arms crossed over her chest.

"I have… slowly am. I just needed to let off a little steam. That's all," I told her.

"How are you out here in a tank top?" she asked, gesturing to my grey and white thin striped top.

I shrugged. "I feel fine."

"Sorry about dinner," Rose said. "Mom is normally pretty good about that stuff."

"Don't worry, it's not my place." I replied, then sighed. "Thank you for not telling Alice about me."

"Don't worry, it's not my place," she smiled before linking her arm through mine. "Come on, play me something on the piano before I leave you alone for the rest of the night."

"Leave me alone?" I asked with a smile. "You're supposed to help me unpack two bag life content."

**Thanks for reading! Please let me (us) know what is going on in your head...**it is very discouraging when people don't review when I know they have read it, because reviews are what keep us writing, and without inspiration, there is not really a point in posting, if I can just write for myself. I try to get stuff done and posted for you guys and end up pushing to get it done so as to not disappoint... and I could just write for myself and not have the stress of trying to make a deadline. I know it sounds rude but it's how I feel and I don't know how else to put it. So please, review. You don't know how much it means to me :)****


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey! Thanks in advance to Can't Decode Me for co-writing this with me, and all of you who favorite/alert/review. It means so much to me (us)! We hope you all enjoy and please take the time to review, and read the A/N I have written at the bottom!**

**We don't own twilight. :( (but we wish we did!)**

**JPOV (CDM)**

I sat a little uncomfortably in the red faux leather booth in the small Fork's Diner across from Alice as I felt almost every person around us staring at me. Rosalie had gone to get Bella, which left me with Ali who held a small smirk on her face as our waitress came. She couldn't have been any older than seventeen but the way she was dressed was absolutely appalling. Her pink v-neck couldn't have shown any more cleavage and her shorts, which didn't go well with the stormy weather, might as well have been underwear. Most guys would find that attractive, sadly even Peter.

"Well hi there," she smiled. "I'm Jessica and I'll be your server, can I get you anything?"

I looked at Alice politely and she smiled sourly at Jessica. "We'll just order drinks first, we are still waiting for Rose and Bella. So I'll have a coke," Alice said.

"And you?" Jessica asked, with a, I guess, seductive smile.

"Just water, thanks." I said, turning my attention back to Alice.

Jessica said, "Sure thing,' and then retreated to the kitchen.

Alice giggled a little bit, " Charmer isn't she?"

"Is she always like that?"

Alice nodded "Basically her and her friend Lauren are the class sluts. I'm actually proud of them, they haven't gotten pregnant yet."

I chuckled. "They sound wonderful."

"Better watch yourself. They like to pounce on fresh meat. It doesn't come here often."

I looked out the window, looking for Rosalie and when I noticed Alice sigh. "Listen, Jasper. Rose wanted to tell you later but I think it'd be better to tell you now. And it'd be better than you hearing from the gossip in the little shit hole," Alice started. "Bella gets a lot of stares when she's out in town. She's the center of the town's pity and gossip. When we went to Seattle for a school choir trip, and Rose was visiting you, Bella was raped. She's still very uncomfortable around people and strangers. I think that's why she didn't come over last night."

I was frozen in my seat for a moment listening to that. My thoughts went to places I didn't want them to and my heart ached for Bella and Rosalie both. How hard it must be for Rose to have to see someone else go through that. I looked back out the window and saw Rosalie pull in.

I nodded to Alice, "I understand. Thank you for telling me, I appreciate that. You said it happened when Rose was visiting?"

Alice nodded and then kind of hushed herself. "Don't be too awkward about it, it makes things worse."

I shook my head. "I wouldn't."

Jessica came back with our drinks just as Rose and Bella walked in and I quickly texted Peter to call me in five minutes and not to fuck around. I stood out of the booth to let Rose take the inside seat and smiled pleasantly at Bella, who looked a little nervous and scared. We all took our seats and I smiled at Rose, moving my arm to rest on the top of the booth behind her.

"Bella this is my cousin Jasper," Rose introduced with a smile. "Jasper, this is our good friend Bella. And you both already have one thing in common."

I gripped my fist under the table, trying keep some sort of composure. "Oh yeah?" I asked lightly looking between all the girls at the table. "What would that be?"

"You're both made for warmer weather," Rose smiled. "Bella grew up in Arizona, and you grew up in Texas."

"Grand Canyon State," I nodded. "When did you move out here?"

"Um, eighth grade," she stuttered in a quiet voice. "My mom got remarried so I moved out here with my dad. I was born here though."

"Ah well you're lucky," I said. "I was born in Texas so me and the cold never did so well together."

Alice chuckled and reached across the table to take Rose's hand in hers. I'm glad she was happy. Bella, who was dressed in a black and red Superman shirt, seemed a little uncomfortable and unsure of what to do about their affection. Suddenly my phone rang and I thanked God. I apologized to Rose and told her I needed to take it. I excused myself to stand outside under the overhang to stay out the rain.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Peter asked in a very serious tone.

"Peter, you have no idea." I sighed frustrated. "Look, I'll tell you about it later tonight. I need to get out go here, I mean I need to get back to Esme's. Thanks, I owe you."

"Calm down," Peter told me. "I'll call you later."

I walked back inside and took a seat next to Rose briefly. "I'm really sorry ladies, but I have to go back to Esme's."

Rose glared at me. "What? Why?"

I raised my hands up in surrender. "That was Peter, I need to get back on the phone and settle a few things back home."

Rose pouted, "You can't wait until after lunch?"

I flicked her chin up with a crooked smile. "I'll see you later, don't worry."

She nodded silently as I kissed her forehead. "Bella it was really nice meeting you. Sorry I have to leave so suddenly."

"Nice meet you too," she whispered, not looking me in the eye.

"Ali I'm sure I'll see you later, or around." With those goodbyes, I took Rose's car keys and drove around town.

I turned the radio on and tuned it to a different station so I could clear my head. This is bad… This never happens. I raced back home in Rose's BMW and was welcomed to an empty house since Carlisle and Esme were at work. I sat in the car and just listened to the rain beat down on the windows. In my rage I slammed my fists on the steering wheel yelling, "Fuck!"

**BPOV (CDM)**

I looked down at my hands, and I couldn't stop them from shaking. I just wanted to yell at everyone who was staring at me, but for the few minutes that Jasper was here I felt strangely calm. His voice and mere presence was soothing and somehow felt familiar but at the same time not... I was nervous and wanted to run away as usual but at least he made me feel a little more comfortable than most people. I guess he hadn't heard the gossip yet. Rose looked sad that he left and I know Ali could tell too by the way she brought Rose's hand to her lips.

"Baby, he's at your house. He's not back in Seattle." Ali reminded her.

"I know," Rose sighed. "I just… I wanted him to spend the day with us, or least have lunch. He has so many damn problems at home! He's here now, he shouldn't have to worry about them."

I could see her anger but mostly her sadness. She did a good job of covering it up, I was envious of that. Jessica came to the table and pouted. "Where'd he go?"

"He had other plans," Rose answered with a tight smile. "Can we order now?"

Rose and Ali still weren't very forgiving of Lauren and Jessica even though I repeatedly told them it wasn't their fault. I tried not to pin it on anyone but _him_ because no one could've guessed that it would've happened. I did feel resentment when it came to the three of us, and not that I wished it on anyone but they were definitely the prettier ones of the three of us. So why I was snatched and dragged into the darkness always scared me.

"So how old is Jasper again?" Ali asked Rose.

"Eighteen," Rose replied simply. "He could've been in college this year but he dropped out sophomore year to work then ended up back in school."

"So he just doesn't care then?" I asked, trying hard not to let my voice shake. I didn't do a very good job.

Rose and Alice just looked at me. "About his education?" I asked again. "He just doesn't care?"

Rose shook her head. "It's not that he doesn't care, Jasper is a smart guy in a sense but he's always been a more practical person. He's always been the man of the house so he'd rather work and put dinner on the table than bring home a report card."

I nodded, biting my lip. "He seems nice enough," I commented. "He really loves you."

Rose smiled fondly. "I'm glad you guys like him. He's been my best friend since I was born."

"If I were straight, I'd be into him," Alice laughed. "He's got that mysterious, biker boy kind of look. I could never pull that shit off."

Rose and I laughed, well I attempted to, the feeling felt foreign and strange. I wonder if someone can forget how to laugh and smile.

**APOV (SCC)**

I was flipping through the TV channels, trying to find something for all of us to watch. Bella wouldn't watch anything scary, and I wouldn't blame her. We decided on _Chopped_ on the Food Network, it was always something that we all enjoyed and watched all the time. There wasn't much with me and Rose and Bella's different tastes. Even our clothes were vastly different, Bella was more plain and simple, Rose went all out with her girly self, and I stayed my tomboyish self.

I sat aimlessly watching the TV, but I was most definitely not paying attention to it. All I could think of was poor Bella, and everything that had happened to her lately, and all it would take to get her to be her normal self again. I wondered if she ever would be. Registration at school was bad enough, and then to have a new guy come and be living with Rose. I knew that Rose had talked to Bella about him coming, and how great of a person he is, but I could tell by Bella's actions that she was not 100% comfortable with it. Yesterday when she bailed on us at dinner, all I did was worry about her. I made conversation, but inside I was just hoping that everything was alright with Bella. It wasn't like to her to just say that she wasn't coming, and Esme was worried about her being home alone when Charlie was at work at night. I didn't like the thought of her being home alone at night either, and that made it all the worse.

"You okay?" Rose asked me, reaching over to take her hand in mine for reassurance. I guess fake watching the TV wasn't going as unnoticed as I had planned.

"Yes, I'm fine." I squeezed her hand with a smile, letting her know it was okay. I knew she was worried about Bella as well, and the last thing that either of us wanted was to have Bella worrying about us worrying about her. All that worrying was unnecessary. She had been through enough.

"I'm going to go to the bathroom." Bella hopped up off the love seat and started walking towards the kitchen.

"Hey Rose? Can I ask you something?" I asked her, turning towards her.

"Of course baby, what's up?" she responded, looking directly at me with a confused look on her face as to what I would ask.

"You talked about Jasper's education before… and you know so much about him and his life."

"Yeah…" She trailed off, not knowing where I was going with this.

"He seems like a big part of your life." I continued.

"He is. I love Jasper, he has been my best friend for so long." Rose said, now really confused.

"I was just wondering why you don't mention him, or talk about him much." I said.

"Oh I don't know. I just don't." She kinda cut me off. Bella came walking back in the room, so we quickly dropped it and started to watch TV.

Why would she just blow me off? I was trying to talk to her, and it didn't seem like it was an intrusive conversation or question. We have been together for four years now, and she can't tell me why she never mentions Jasper. It seems like it's a huge part of her based on how she reacts and acts around him, and I can't figure out why she won't let me in on this. I feel like an outsider between them and can't fit in because Rose doesn't let me. I shifted in the couch and thought more, getting angry the more I thought about it. Rose knew _everything_ about me, and I feel like he is a huge part of her life if they really are as close as she says they are, and I don't know anything about this.

We sat and watched TV silently, Rose and Bella fascinated by the cooking on TV. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs, and we all three turned around to see Jasper standing at the bottom of the staircase, before heading to the direction of the kitchen now wearing a pair of brown Ray Ban styled glasses with his black and grey t-shirt.

"Sorry, I just have to grab a water." He said with a southern twang, "You girls doing alright?" Rose let go of my hand, and I could tell she tensed up. She stood up and walked to the kitchen slowly while Bella and I both said out a "yes" to Jasper.

"I'm sorry, Rose. About earlier. About everything." Jasper whispered, clearly trying to be quiet and keep it between Rose and him. Both Bella and I could hear him clear as bells, so I don't think it worked well. They were only in the next room, did they think we couldn't hear them? Bella shot me a look, and I just gave one back, knowing we shouldn't get into this between Rose and Jasper.

"Yeah..well whatever." Rose said back, and I could hear the bitterness and acid in her tone. I knew she wasn't happy with Jasper and I felt bad for him. Rose walked back out of the kitchen and sat down next to me again, I could tell she was angry. More than angry at Jasper, it seemed like disappointment. I knew that Rose was just putting on an angry face so that Jasper didn't see how hurt she was. I decided it was getting late and that I should probably get home and get some sleep. It had been quite the day and I was just ready to lay down and rest.

"I'm going to go home, honey." I told Rose.

"Are you sure you don't want to stay longer?" Rose asked me back.

"I'm sure. I'm getting tired and should probably get to sleep."

"Okay. I'll take care of Bella here and Jasper. Call me when you get home okay? I worry about you driving at night." Rose responded.

"I will, I promise." I told her. I got up and went over to Bella.

"Hey, give me a hug silly, I'm going to go home." Bella got up.

"Okay. Drive safe. I'll see you tomorrow." Bella replied, wrapping her hands around me to pull me into a hug. I squeezed her tightly before letting go.

"Tell Jasper I said good night. I will see you both tomorrow." I said, walking to Rosie.

"Good night, baby. I'll call you in a few." I kissed her lips before she pulled me into a deep kiss, making me feel like I was melting inside. I pulled back and smiled at her, letting her know everything was okay, and I walked to the door, opening it and walking outside to feel the cool air hit my face. I got into my car and turned up the music, when I was alone it was my company in the car. I drove home safely and got inside, and as soon as I took my shoes off and set my purse down, my phone started vibrating in my pocket.

"Hello?" I answered, putting the phone up between my face and my shoulder.

"Baby…" Rose cried.

"Rose what's wrong?" I asked frantically, "What happened?" I immediately started to worry.

"I feel so guilty, Ali. I made a huge big deal out of nothing, out of Jasper and I's little argument, and now I have messed everything up and he only just got here." She blubbered.

"Honey, relax. I promise you everything will be okay. Jasper will forgive you and you will forgive him and everything will be fine. You guys are best friends, you'll make up." I told her, going upstairs to my bedroom.

"You think so?" She asked weakly. She sounded like she had been crying for a while, but I knew it hadn't been that long. I still felt horrible nonetheless.

"I know so. You guys are close, it will all work out. So no need to cry about anything. It will all be okay darling." I said reassuringly.

"Thanks baby. I wish you were here. I miss you already." Rose pouted in the phone.

"I'll be over there before you know it, my baby. But I miss you too."

There was a long pause in the phone.

"I'll talk to you tomorrow okay, baby? I'm gonna go to bed now." I told Rose.

"Okay, honey. Sleep well. I'll talk to you soon. I love you."

"I love you too, sweet thing." I hung up the phone and went to bed.

**Thanks for reading! Please let me (us) know what is going on in your head...**it is very discouraging when people don't review when I know they have read it, because reviews are what keep us writing, and without inspiration, there is not really a point in posting, if I can just write for myself. I try to get stuff done and posted for you guys and end up pushing to get it done so as to not disappoint... and I could just write for myself and not have the stress of trying to make a deadline. I know it sounds rude but it's how I feel and I don't know how else to put it. So please, review. You don't know how much it means to me :)****


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey! New chapter up for Save Me! As always, thanks to my beta and bff Can't Decode Me for being my co-writer on this. You're freaking amazing. Also thanks to those reviewers/favoriters/alerters! You guys are awesome. Also: I'll be gone on vacation for two weeks without internet really so it will be a while before I (we)can post next! I(we) hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**We don't own twilight.**

**BPOV (CDM)**

"Rose!" I exclaimed. "Why are we doing this again?"

Rose and Alice were here. At my house on the first day of school at 6 AM. I wanted to kill them. And Jasper was downstairs in the kitchen with my dad apparently. Alice just laughed from my bed as I sat at my desk while Rose tried to poke me in the eye with mascara.

"It's the first day of school Bella!" Rose explained cheerily. "You have to look nice."

I groaned and looked at my face, the bruises were mostly gone now and the cuts were almost healed but my face still looked scary as ever though. I needed cover up… ugh I hated wearing too much make up. I sighed and pointed to my closet.

"You can pick out my clothes then," I instructed. "I'll paint my face."

Rose rolled her eyes at me before rifling through my closet going, "oh...hmmm."

I took my make up bag and retreated down the hall to the bathroom so I could brush out my hair and brush my teeth. I let out a small squeak as the bathroom door opened suddenly. I covered my mouth quickly with my hand as Jasper emerged with his hands up in front of his chest.

"Whoa hey," he murmured softly. "It's just me. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

I shook my head and took a deep breath, putting my hand over my racing heart. "It's fine," I sputtered quickly.

Jasper stepped aside slowly and let me enter the bathroom before he retreated down the stairs muttering something under his breath. I shut the door quickly, almost slamming it, and fell against it. My heart was trying to run out of my chest but at the same time Jasper's voice sent a wave of calm through me that I haven't felt in a long time. Then that night came back to me, the smell of the dumpster, the stickiness of blood, the smell of his breath. _Whoa hey, you're fine now. I'm not going to hurt you. He's gone. He can't hurt you any more_, my savior had said to me. Why did it all seem so familiar now?

_Bella, you are officially going crazy,_ I told myself as I quickly finished my make up. Emerging from the bathroom, I rushed into my room and found Rose and Alice giggling to each other while my outfit was laid out on my bed. I was honestly surprised to find that I actually really liked it. It felt like me-or at least the old me. I changed into my blue skinny jeans that faded white at the knee, and put on my red wine coloured sweater that Rosalie picked out. Which she then fashioned with a light brown braid belt, same brown coloured dress shoes and my favorite white tube scarf. I sadly had to admit even I thought I looked pretty good. Rose-1, Bella-0. Damn.

Rose and Alice stood on either side of me as we looked in my full length mirror. Ali stood on my left wearing dark blue jeans and a coffee knit long sleeve top with black and periwinkle flower sneakers. She was the complete opposite to Rose, who was on my right, wearing a black faux leather and knit skirt with a white and black trimmed layered tank top and black strappy wedges. They were perfect for each other. Rose handed me my brown leather bag, that she made sure matched everything else, and my black peacoat before we headed downstairs. Then I realized, I'm going to school. In a building full of people, empty rooms and locked doors. I don't think I can do this.

**JPOV(CDM)**

I stood with my arms crossed over my chest before sneaking a peek at my watch as Charlie stared at me from across the kitchen (I guess he heard I spent a month in juvie). I heard the girls in the hallway so I picked up my bag beside me and put it on my shoulder.

"Thank you for the coffee Chief Swam" I said as I stuck my hand out.

He shook my hand firmly with a tight smile, "You can call me Charlie. It was nice meeting you Jasper. If you need anything, just holler."

I nodded and stepped out the kitchen to wait for the girls at the bottom of the stairs. I watched Rose and Ali come down the stairs all smiles, looking very beautiful but then we all looked a little puzzled as Bella shouted down she'd just be a minute. Rose sighed and was about to go back up but I stepped forward and touched her shoulder gently.

"Can I try something please?" I murmured.

Rose smiled at me and nodded before returning to Alice, telling her to start the car up. I think Rose had a little too much confidence in me. I walked up the stairs and I could feel my pulse pick up. Being around Bella made me nervous but at the same time she made me swell up with pride. It wasn't pride of my actions but it was the pride to see her growing and moving on from it. Even if she doesn't realize it yet, she has a strong fighting soul and she'll come out of this stronger than even Rose did.

I found Bella's room and knocked on the door softly. "Bella?" I asked.

"Yeah?" I heard her sniffle.

I opened the door and left it wide open as I stepped in the door way. "Can I come in?"

She nodded and wiped her eyes, trying to make sure she didn't smudge the make up she had on. I walked in her room and adjusted the strap of my backpack. "I just forgot to put something in my bag," she stuttered.

I nodded, "It's okay to be scared, Bella."

That statement got her attention. Her beautiful brown doe eyes looked at me with confusion. "Rose tells me that I need to be strong."

"You do," I agreed. "The thing with Rosalie is though, is she wants you to do better in everything she couldn't have done when she was going through this. You've already proved to everyone you're strong. You need to focus on being you, and right now that you is scared. So be scared but don't let it hold you back. You know everyone in this small ass town, and they all know you."

"You have a higher percentage of being raped by a person you know than a stranger," Bella whispered.

I sighed and looked around the room. "Do you have something you really love? Something that no matter what, makes you happy or feel safe? Like, um… Rosalie has a little locket around her neck that has picture of me and Emmett in it. Just keep it in your bag and if you feel like you can't be strong today just touch it, hold it, look at it."

Bella bit her lip and looked around the room before she got down on her knees and reached under her bed. She pulled out a grey/white t-shirt. I studied it quickly as she folded it neatly. It was a Breaking Benjamin shirt with a celtic design in the middle and on the right side mid-torso there was a slash in it where it was ever so slightly stained red. Subconsciously my fingers reached to touch my stomach before she put the shirt in her bag and turned to me.

"Thank you Jasper," she whispered, then she surprised us both when she hugged me. I lightly wrapped my arms around her before I heard her take a deep breath and pull away. "Sorry."

"You're fine. Come on, we don't want to be late." I smiled.

_God, please kill me now, _I thought as I hopped into the backseat with Bella. Rose and Alice looked very please when we came out and Rose handed Bella a coffee form the front seat. "Charlie told me to give you that."

"Thanks Rose," Bella whispered, turning to look out the window. Anyone could tell she was nervous. As we pulled up to the high school, hell _I_ got nervous. I didn't want to repeat this shit any longer. There is a reason I dropped out. I don't need that little piece of paper to say I'm smart, its fucking waste of time.

We all grabbed our stuff out of the car and felt all the eyes on us. _Fuck this._ "Rosalie I'm done. I'm going home." I said before she grabbed hold of my backpack strap.

"You're staying here," she hissed. "It's one year Jasper, to even. It's one hundred and eighty days."

"One hundred and eighty days of pure hell," I growled before doing some quick math. "That's 4320 minutes, 259200 seconds."

Alice, Rose and Bella turned to stare at me. "Did you just do that in your head?" Alice asked.

I nodded, and looked at them. "It's basic math."

Alice scoffed. "I'll pay you to be my tutor for _basic math_."

I rolled my eyes and followed them up the steps leading away from the parking lot to the outdoor area in front of the school. Rose started leading us to a table when Bella suddenly slipped in front of me and I reached out to steady her quickly, which sadly got coffee on my grey long sleeve shirt. Bella squeaked and apologized quickly. "Oh my gosh! Jasper I am so sorry!" she sputtered as Alice and Rose laughed at her.

I glared at Rose and she glared back. "Don't worry about it Bella, he has more than one shirt on anyways. And that's what you get Texan for not letting me dress you up."

I rolled my eyes and set my bag down on their table before taking my jacket off. "Rosalie I hate you."

"You love me!" she sang as I pulled my grey shirt off. She and Ali whistled before I threw it in her face. It was then I _really_ felt the eyes on me. I looked beyond Rose and Ali to where a group of girls were standing who were practically undressing me with their eyes. I stood there in the chilly morning air in a black muscle shirt and black jeans with my usual black boots. I sat next to Rose and pulled her to me before looking over at Bella who looked away quickly with a blush playing on her cheeks.

"Aw Bella!" Ali teased her.

"What?" I asked looking between them.

"She finds you cute, look at that blush!" Alice teased again. "Don't worry Bella, remember I said that same thing at lunch. If I wasn't a lesbian I would totally go for you Jasper."

"What have I gotten myself into? I hate high school." I grumbled before looking at my watch. "Shit-I mean shoot. I'm supposed to be meeting Esme in the office for something. I'll see you girls later."

I grabbed my bag and threw my jacket on before entering the school where I found Esme standing in the office with a warm smile. "Right on time."

I nodded and then we were called into the principles office. _What the hell is going on?_ He insisted we take a seat as his face held a cheery smile-this was definitely something different from Garret (my former principle). "Mrs. Cullen nice to see you again," he greeted. "And Jasper it is nice to meet you. I'm Mr. Smith, he principle here of Forks High."

"Nice to meet you to," I nodded.

"Now, Esme we just received Jasper's transcripts from his old schools and we weren't sure if you were aware of this," Smith started. _Oh shit._ "Jasper was a part of TAG during his eighth grade and freshman year. Do you know what that is?"

"Talented and Gifted students," I told her, slumping in my chair ever so slightly.

She went wide eyed. "I had no idea."

"We offer an excellent program here for TAG students from around Forks and we would be more than willing to place Jasper into it."

Esme looked at me, a little too excited. Before she could speak though I shook my head. "No thank you." Then she shot me a look-more like a glare.

"Jasper, from what I've seen you're a very bright guy. A very promising student."

I nodded. "I was told the same thing my freshman year. Mr. Smith, thank you for the opportunity but I do not want to be put into a special program."

Esme sighed and stood. "Bill thank you for sharing this. Carlisle and I will discuss this tonight and get back to you tomorrow morning."

Smith smile and nodded his head to both of us. "Of course Esme. Jasper you're schedule for now is waiting for you at the desk."

"Thanks," I said before following Esme out, holding the door for her.

After I retrieved my schedule, she glared at me. "Jasper, we need to talk about this. How come you never told me? Did Annie know? Does Tom know?"

I nodded. "They all knew. They just never said anything. We both know why. Es, I don't want to be in some program I've done it before and even that is like going to normal school for me. I just want to attend normal classes with Rose and get through this year."

Esme sighed and nodded. "Okay, Jasper but I am still telling Carlisle tonight when he gets home."

I nodded again. "Yes ma'am."

Then I headed back to the table where Rose was after Esme left and she deconstructed my schedule telling what I had with who. "You have each class with at least one of us! And you're last three classes after lunch are with Bella!" she squealed.

I smiled but inside all I wanted to do was scream.

**APOV(SCC)**

I walked down the hallway into my first period of the day, here we go. I liked school, but the first day was always overwhelming. I thought I was ready this morning, that is until I was walking into the door of my english class. At least I got to see Rose and Bella at lunch, hopefully Jasper too. I liked seeing Rose happy now about having him over. I knew they had their occasional bumps in the road, but when it came down to it all, I could tell that Jasper meant so much to Rose. I walked nervously to the back of the classroom, taking a seat in the back left corner, Stupid, really, considering I knew most every one of these people in my classes, I had for the past three years previous. Most of them went back farther than that, too. Maybe no one would watch me if I could just be hidden in the back.

"Good morning, welcome to my english class." Mrs. Goddard said. Her voice was a dull roar at most. Great, at least it will be a fun year in this class, I told myself sarcastically. I tried to keep myself awake, her voice was practically begging me to fall asleep. She took attendance for what seemed like half an hour, every name that was sounding familiar made me roll my eyes more. Mrs. Goddard then went over every lame rule, emphasizing the points like somehow we didn't hear her the first time.

The next three hours went the same, attendance, rules, supplies list for that class. I couldn't wait until lunch, until I could actually socialize with people I could be myself around. I couldn't believe it, I had somehow accumulated a load of homework to do tonight, and it was only the first day of school. What happened to senior year being a blow off year? Senior year being fun? Senior year being the last year for us to screw up before we actually had to get serious? I guess that plan just went out the window.

I slammed my locker shut, leaving the books and binders I didn't need for the rest of the day behind. I walked slowly to the front of the building to the cafeteria, excited to finally see Rose. I looked around for a minute before finding my baby, Jasper, and Bella sitting at the rounded table in the corner.

"Hi, honey, Jasper, Bella." I said, smiling and sitting down to kiss Rose's lips. Jasper and Bella said their "hello's" back, before going back to the light chatting.

"How was your first day so far?"I asked Rose, taking her two hands in mine.

"It was good. Typical first day. I missed you though." Rose said, frowning at me.

"Turn that frown, upside down baby girl." I smiled at her, kissing her again. I heard some guy snort and laugh as he walked past Rose and I, but I could have cared less. It only made me kiss Rosie more. To show her how much I love her.

Pulling away from her, I turned my attention towards Jasper and Bella, and that's when I first noticed them. Jasper's tattoos. Maybe I just hadn't paid attention thus far… but I knew that Jasper had a leather jacket on earlier this morning. Yeah, that was it, I would have noticed before if his tattoos were showing. My eyes wandered around, catching a glimpse of a tattoo on his back left shoulder. I couldn't quite make out the words, and tried to figure out in my head what it read. My eyes scanned again, finding two more. One on his inner left arm, and another on his right upper arm. That made three… how many tattoos did he have? It made me jealous, I wished I had a tattoo. All three of them looked beautiful, each in their own way. They were all vastly different from each other, holding no resemblance. Jasper turned to get up, throwing away an apple core in the nearby garbage bin in next to the table. I could read what it said:_ Everything was beautiful, and nothing hurt._ The other upper arm/shoulder area had a big, dark rose with tiny petals. Jasper walked back over, leaning his elbows on the table. The last tattoo read: _Hell is empty and all the devils are here._

"Hey, Jasper?" I asked him, curious.

"Hmm?" He responded, playing with a bag of chips laying on the table.

"Will you tell me about your tattoos?" I asked slowly, trying to gauge his reaction. His face looked confused for a minute, before smiling.

"Uh.. yeah. Sure. They are kind of downers though." He smiled again, apparently not expecting my question to come so sudden. Or come at all. He pointed to his inner arm, "This one…it's kinda like a metaphor for wrong doings. People who do bad things are consumed by the devil."

Bella and I watched in fascination, while I'm sure Rose already knew the meanings. I squeezed her hand, looking over to smile at her. God, she was so beautiful.

"And this one," Jasper continued, pointing to the rose on his upper arm, "Is a blooming rose." He looked up at Rose and smiled, "It represents Rosalie here, and my mom. My mother's favorite flower was a rose. And then the last one here, it's about death. It is a Vonnegut quote from Slaughterhouse-Five. It basically means how when you are dead, nothing can hurt you anymore. And the peace that is beautiful." Jasper finished, looking up at us all around the table.

"Wow.. that is really cool." I was surprised to hear the familiar, small voice coming from the other side of the table. "I would have never thought about that." Bella said, smiling sheepishly at Jasper. Jasper laughed, making both Rose and I grin, and soon the whole table was laughing. It wasn't often that Bella said much to someone she didn't know well, but when she did, everyone loved to hear it.

I sat and picked at my lunch for the rest of the time, before getting up and departing from everyone for the day until we got home. I went to my fifth period class, not being friends with anyone from that class. I gazed boringly out the window, waiting to go home. This school year would take longer than I thought.

The bell finally rang, letting the prisoners know it was time to get released from the jail cells. I walked again to my locker, grabbing everything for the night to do my shit load of homework to do. I closed my locker with a kick and walked down the hallway to meet Rose at her locker; Bella and Jasper were already waiting for me at my car. I found Rose standing there, grabbing another textbook to put in her bag before closing her locker door as well.

"Hey." I said quietly, leaning over to kiss her.

"Hey you. You okay, babe? You look upset." Rose told me, taking my hand in hers while we walked down the hall and out the door to meet Jasper and Bella. They would always be ahead of Rose and I since they had the last period together and their class was at the end of the hall.

"I'm fine, just a long day, that's all." I told her. We chatted about our classes and teachers, some of them we had the same. That wasn't hard to do, considering how small Forks High School's student body was. I looked up before realizing who Jasper was walking over to, down in the parking lot. There was a girl with blue hair sitting on the back of a motorcycle, along with a guy. Jasper left his backpack on the ground, bringing Bella along with him. I was assuming that was Peter and Charlotte, both Jasper's good friends. I had heard a bit about them, but not much. What surprised me was seeing Jasper caress the girl a little too tenderly, and I thought Peter was Jasper's best guy friend, and Charlotte was his long time girlfriend. They looked nice from here, but I wasn't sure what to do. So Rose took the lead and pulled me along. We walked to where Jasper was at, Rose taking my hand and squeezing it.

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what is going on in your head...**You don't know how much it means to me (us), and I'll promise to get the next chapter up sooner if you do ;) (a little bribing never hurts anyone).****


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey! New chapter up for Save Me! As always, thanks to my beta and bff Can't Decode Me for being my co-writer on this. You're freaking amazing girlie! Also thanks to those reviewers/favoriters/alerters! You guys are awesome. And sorry about the long delay for the readers out there, I was out of town and Can't Decode Me started school, therefore we have had full plates.. sorry again. I(we) hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**We don't own twilight..unfortunately.**

**JPOV(CDM)**

I stopped short as I noticed a blue haired girl on a very familiar motorcycle. I laughed and jogged over to it. "Well hello Beautiful," I murmured as I approached the bike. Charlotte turned to face me with a smile but soon glared at me when she realized my joke. I crouched and ran my hands over the bike with a smile. "Oh, I've missed you."

"Jasper!" Charlotte laughed with a teasing glare. I laughed and moved my hand slowly up her bare leg before kissing her thigh teasingly. She laughed and I did too as Peter decided to make himself known.

"Oh I see how it is!" He exclaimed. "When I'm not around you mess with my girlfriend?"

I smiled and hugged him saying, "Oh come on you know she loved me first."

"How was Hell day one?" Peter asked, leaning against my bike and wrapping an arm around Charlotte.

"Oh you know," I said casually. "The usual."

Then I realized Bella was still standing there, very awkwardly. I moved closer to her and gestured to Peter and Charlotte. "Sorry, Bella these are my friends from Seattle. This is Peter and his girlfriend Charlotte. Guys, this is my cousin's best friend Bella Swan."

Peter looked between me and her for a second before smiling. _Don't touch her Pete..._ "Pleasure to meet you Bella Birdy."

"It's nice to meet you Bella," Charlotte greeted, stepping off the bike. "I love your shoes."

"Hi," Bella greeted as she attempted a smile. "It's nice to meet you guys too. And thank you Charlotte."

Her voice was soft and quiet, a lot more so than it had been all day. Then Alice and Rosalie showed up with loud greetings. "Peter!" Rose smiled, engulfing Peter in a big hug. "It's good to see you again!"

I watched Peter hug my cousin tightly with a surprised face before laughing. "I didn't realize I left such a good impression. Nice to see you again Rosalie."

"Hey Charlotte," Rose smiled. "Guys this is my girlfriend Alice. Ali, this is Peter and Charlotte."

"Hi," Ali greeted. "I've heard some good things about you guys."

"Damn it Jasper! What did you go and do that for?" Peter joked.

"Please like anyone can have anything good to say about you. Charlotte is the one worth praising." I said as I noticed a group of people staring at us. "Did you guys plan this?"

"Well mom found out last night. Does that count?" Peter explained with a smile. "I told you I missed your lazy ass."

"Well Esme will love the guests I'm sure," I told him before looking at Charlotte. "Looks like you get hang out with some girls Char instead of us guys. How long you staying?"

"I don't know, we didn't really plan anything because we weren't sure how Esme would handle." Peter said rubbing his neck.

"Well follow us back to Rose's place and we'll figure it out." I said as I turned to Rose who gave me an approving look. "Wait here Pete."

I walked Ali, Rose and Bella back to their car, making sure they were okay and Rosalie smiled at me. "I'm glad they're here."

"Me too," I murmured as Rose got in Ali's car. Then I turned to Bella who was waiting for me to move so she could get in the car. She was looking down at the ground a little nervously and I could tell everything really threw her off today. I sighed and rubbed the back of my neck.

"Bella, I want to apologize for all of that," I started, but she shook her head.

"It's fine Jasper," she stuttered, quietly.

I looked at her, making sure she looked me in the eye. "It's not fine. I was completely rude and selfish and I'm sorry about that. And I should've been more considerate about all of that and I wasn't. It was unfair to you and I am really sorry."

Bella nodded and attempted to smile. "Thank you, Jasper."

She said it like a whisper so I barely heard her but I smiled back and nodded. "Okay. I'll see you when I get back to the house."

"You're not coming with us?" she asked and then looked over her shoulder toward Peter and Charlotte. "Never mind."

I stepped aside and waited to watch her get in the car before heading back to Peter and Charlotte. I'm glad Peter was here for a visit, I missed him and Charlotte too, but I also knew Peter just doesn't come all the way down from Seattle for a visit without making some sort of plan, especially when I know he could've contacted Esme first. Something was up and we were all just being too polite to say anything about it.

**BPOV(CDM)**

"I can't believe they just showed up like that?" Rose said, it was a serious tone but I could hear the smile in it somewhere. "Maybe…" she trailed which made Ali look at her at the next stoplight.

"Maybe what, Baby?" Ali asked, taking Rose's hand in hers. I watched Rosalie just shake her head silently, letting go of Ali's hand.

"Nothing," she smiled, you would've only noticed the tightness if you knew her like we did. "They probably got bored with nothing to do. Peter and Charlotte are ahead of Jasper in school… maybe they are taking a gap year?"

Ali nodded as the light turned green and I watched her hands grip the steering wheel tightly from the backseat. This was one of Rose's and Alice's moments… they haven't had these in so long but they seem to be a little more frequent in these last couple weeks. I haven't talk to either of them about it because neither of them are ready to talk and to be honest I have no idea how I would be any help to them anyways. I reached into my bag and touched the rolled up t-shirt lightly. On my bad nights this t-shirt made me feel safer after curling into it. I know it seems stupid and silly.

I don't even know how I could bare to stand it, things like this t-shirt are only reminders of what happened that night. It comforts me though because it lets believe there are decent people out in this world who don't want to harm you, that there are people who just want to save you. Jasper was right, it was okay to be scared today because if I needed to be strong or feel safe, I had this with me. I still don't really understand it though, this of all the things shouldn't bring me comfort.

"Oh my gosh!" Rose squealed, which brought me back to the car. "Guys! Emmett just texted me, he and Jane are coming to town next week!"

Ali and I smiled to her. She always loved when Emmett came into town, he was her savior. "That's great Rose," I told her as we pulled into her driveway. Maybe tonight would turn out to be good, now that we are in better moods for our annual 'first day of school sleep over'.

**APOV(SCC)**

I walked in the door hand in hand with Rose, thought processes running through my head at lightning speed. Why does she keep doing this to me? All these secrets… it feels like she has a different fucking life apart from ours, andthe hurt travels deeper and deeper the more frequent it happens. I can't say anything, of course, I don't want to hurt Rose's feelings, but really? She completely just blew off the whole subject in the car when I tried to ask her about why she thought they just showed up. It seemed as though she knew something I didn't, and that wasn't a very comfortable feeling. It made me uneasy, my stomach becoming upset at the thought of secrets she was keeping from me when we walked in the house.

"You alright there, baby? You look a bit pale…" She trailed off, giving me a confused look.

"I'm fine," I must have given a convincing enough smile, because Rose dropped the subject. We took our shoes off in the foyer and Bella trailed behind us, my noticing she was more quiet than usual. And that was pretty damn quiet. I could tell that her meeting Charlotte and Peter might have been a bit much, and Rose and I's loudness must not have helped. I felt guilty and sick now, walking into the kitchen.

"Hey girls!" Esme said in the kitchen, pulling out bottles of water and pop for us, "Can I offer you guys something to drink?" She asked sweetly, her smile making me forget about my anger for the moment.

"I'm fine.. but Bella? Ali? You guys want something?" Rose asked, sitting down in a bar stool.

"I'm good for now, thanks," Bella said. I added a "me too".

"But…you might have someone else who wants something to drink…" Rose suggested, smiling in a way that clearly showed her excitement.

"Oh yeah? And who's that?" Esme said, and as if on cue, I heard a motorcycle pull up into the driveway, a few moments later to have Jasper, Charlotte, and Peter arriving in the doorstep.

Rose waited on her response to Esme so she could see herself, and Esme, with a towel in her hands, walked to the door to greet the three.

"Hey Jasper.. and…" I heard Esme say, before Jasper filled her in.

"Esme, I'd like you too meet my best friend, Peter, and his wonderful girlfriend, Charlotte." He said, the smile apparent in his voice.

"Oh, so nice to meet you all finally! Can I get you anything?" Esme offered, turning to the kitchen after giving both Peter and Charlotte a once-over. I think she was shocked to see Charlotte's hair the way it was in person.

"I'll have a coke, if you have that." Peter said, stepping into the living room, "This is an absolutely stunning house, Esme. It's just gorgeous." he complimented.

Charlotte followed Peter in the living room, before coming towards Rose and Bella and I, joining us back in the kitchen.

"Thank you Peter, so kind of you. Anything for you, Charlotte?" Esme asked, "And Jasper, of course dear, you can help yourself to anything, as always. You know where it is." She said with a smile.

"Um.. a coke would be great, too, please." She replied, before sitting down next to Rose in a bar stool.

"Thanks Esme," Jasper laughed, leaning against the counter next to Peter. It was nice to see everyone together, and Jasper with his buddies.

"So… Esme…" Rose started, clearly nervous about what she was going to ask. Esme looked around nervously for a minute, not sure what Rose was about to request.

"Yes, dear?" Esme replied.

"Well, Peter and Charlotte are in town for a bit to spend time with Jasper, and I was just wondering.."

"If they can stay here?" Esme cut Rose off, sensing her question before she asked it, "Well of course! You are all welcome, as far as I'm concerned. I'll have to make sure it is okay with Carlisle, but I'm sure he would adore to have the guests around." Rose squeezed my hand out of excitement, before getting up to hug Esme.

"Oh thank you!" Rose cried, clearly very enthusiastic about the situation. I didn't think that she was so close to Peter and Charlotte, she had never mentioned it. It may be because they make Jasper happy. But then again, she didn't mention him much either. I sighed, trying to reason in my head, coming up with no such conclusion._ Here we go again_… I thought. Great.

"Well, I can let you guys get settled, I'm going to the store to pick up some stuff for dinner." Esme said, grabbing her jacket and purse from the table. I looked at my phone and saw that it was already almost 5.

"You coming Bella and Ali?" Rose asked, already halfway up the stairs.

"Yep," Bella and I said simultaneously. We left Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper to get reacquainted while we all went upstairs to get beds and everything ready for tonight. Our sleepover was a ritual, and we had never skipped a year thus far, and it was something we looked forward to after the first day of hell, something to keep us going from the terrible thought that we still had all those days of school to suffer through.

Esme came home with what seemed like hundreds of dollars of groceries only 45 minutes later, and Carlisle arrived shortly after that. He was of course alright with everything, he and Esme were two of the most generous people I have ever met. The girls and I helped Esme to unpack everything, while Peter and Jasper kept more to themselves upstairs, unpacking he and Charlotte's things and getting settled. Esme made a delicious dinner of lasagna, garlic bread and caesar salad. It was fantastic and we all had a great time talking around the table, like a huge family. Nothing was ever awkward between any of us, the conversation flowed, and Esme and Carlisle were interested in getting to know Peter and Charlotte better. Charlotte seemed very nice, and Peter seemed like a great person to joke around with, while also being someone you could talk to seriously. Before any of us knew it, it seemed dinner was over and we all went our separate ways, everyone going upstairs except Carlisle and Esme, who were casually watching TV and reading the newspaper. We did our nails and talked like normal, and even though it was simple things, the sleepover was something I looked forward to every year.

"I'm so glad that everyone could come over," Rose said, kissing me in the bathroom after we had gotten ready for bed.

"Me too, baby, me too," I smiled at her, longing for her love. It was great that everyone was here, but I had barely spoken to Rose all night, we were chatting our own conversations, and just kinda got lost in the hustle and bustle of everyone. At least I could spend the night laying next to Rose, which put a smile on my face. Bella slept with us too, and then Jasper had his own room, and Charlotte and Peter shared a room.

I yawned in front of the mirror, while Rose came behind me and wrapped her arms around my midsection.

"It's been a long day," I smiled, once I was done yawning.

"It has, I'm glad I can actually sleep now. I'm exhausted." Rose said, kissing my neck.

"Mmm.. shall we go in with Bella? I don't want her to be alone."

"Yeah me neither, let's go." Rose unwrapped herself, letting me go, and I followed her out of the bathroom. We got situated in bed, it was a good thing it was a California King, leave it to Esme to buy the best.

"I'm so tired, I could just fall asleep," Bella mentioned, yawning herself, "I haven't gotten up this early in _so_ long. But I am glad everyone is here, I really like Charlotte."

"I do too, she seems so sweet, and I love her hair. She's my type of girl." Rose said, trying to hold in a laugh.

"Hey! Not nice! What about me? Remember? Your girlfriend?" I got a little pissed for a second even though I knew Rose was joking, things were a bit fragile between us lately.

"Relax, honey, you know I'm just kidding. You know you're my only type of girl." She smiled, and soon all of us were laughing. Okay, maybe I overreacted. I just wish Rose would tell me what she was hiding. If I was being completely honest with myself, I just felt left out. That's all.

We all said our good nights, before falling into a fast sleep after a long day. I would have to get used to this schedule.

I woke up to the sound of a screaming Rosalie next to me, me jumping half a foot in the air by being startled. Bella had leaned over to turn the lamp next to her on, also freaked out, which stopped Rosalie's loud screaming a second later, but not the crying. I looked over at the still shaken up Rose, before seeing her face. She looked absolutely horror stricken, fear washed over her face.

"Oh my god, what's wrong baby?" I asked, leaning over to hug her and reassure her as much as possible. She cried and squirmed in my arms, her body violently shaking, "Oh my baby..." I held her tight, waiting for her to tell me what she dreamt. She didn't. I hated seeing her like this, it wasn't often that she had nightmares, so I wasn't sure how to comfort her. There wasn't much I could do for her. Soon then Jasper and Esme both came running in the door, woken up from Rosalie's screaming. Carlisle must have gotten called in at work.

"What's wrong?" Esme said, looking extremely worried. Jasper, hair in all directions, walked to the bed and sat next to me.

"What happened?" He asked, repeating the same question we all had asked already.

"I had this horrible nightmare… he was trying to.… it was all over again… the same nightmare." Rose cried out, her sentences coming out with sobs. She wiped tears from her face when Jasper handed her a tissue, her body was wracking with sobbing again. Bella sat there sympathetically, she knew what Rose was going through, but was too quiet to know how to help Rose. I, quite frankly, didn't know how to help, either. I rubbed Rose's back before she got up off the bed and went into Jasper's arms.

"Let's get you cleaned up," Jasper said, walking in the hallway with her to the bathroom. Her cheeks still had tears running down them, but it was almost as if his voice was calming to her. When he had came in the room at first, she had calmed down for a minute before trying to explain what had happened, when she burst into sobs again from the memory.

"I'm worried about her, she hasn't had this nightmare in a while," I said, thinking aloud to Bella.

"Yeah me too, and it's interesting that Jasper is the one who can calm her down." Bella pointed out. I thought for a minute before they both came walking into the bedroom, Esme having left since Bella and I told her everything was alright. Rose, as if magic had been performed, looked much better already. She was no longer crying, and her shaking was much less.

"Well, if you girls are alright now, then, I'm going to head back to bed, since we do have to get up in another 2 hours." Jasper said, smiling slightly, before leaving the room, "I'll see y'all in the morning." He added.

"You sure you're okay, Rosie?" I asked her, taking her hand in mine and kissing her.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. I'm just gonna get some rest now… and hope that nightmare doesn't come back again." She curled up into my side before I could tell by her breathing that she was fast asleep, as well as Bella. My mind wouldn't go back to sleep, it was too wound up. Why? Why him and not me? Rose and I have been together forever, and he calms her down better than I even can.

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what is going on in your head...**You don't know how much it means to me (us), and I'll promise to get the next chapter up sooner if you do ;) (a little bribing never hurts anyone).****


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey! New chapter up for Save Me! Thanks to those reviewers/favoriters/alerters! You guys are awesome. And sorry about the long delay for the readers out there (again) CDM has started school and it keeps her busy :( .. sorry again (her especially). I(we) hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**We don't own twilight..unfortunately.**

**Chapter Seven**

**JPOV(CDM)**

I woke up on the couch in the living room, after Rose woke up screaming earlier I couldn't sleep. So I came down here and just tried to take my mind off of everything. I still had an hour before I had to be awake but I couldn't keep my eyes shut any longer. I ran a hand through my hair and pulled my shirt off over my head, feeling extremely uncomfortable. I hated the feeling of my clothes sticking to me while I sleep. It makes me feel like I'm in a hospital again. I walked out to the back porch and pulled out a cigarette.

With a long drag, I let the smoke seep into my lungs before exhaling. It felt good, too fucking good, to have a smoke in the morning. The chilly air felt good against my heated skin, the breeze caressing my body in a calming way. I leaned forward on my elbows as I looked out into the Cullen's big backyard and took another drag. I remember this yard from when Rosie and I were really young. I was probably four, so I know Rose doesn't remember it like I do. It was when my mom and Esme were still talking on good terms. It was one of the good times when my dad was gone. Of course he came back and Esme and mom just never patched things up for a long time. It was years and years until they were friends again.

Rubbing the back of my neck, I took a deep breath before hearing the door open behind me. I turned to see Charlotte standing in the doorway dressed in one of Peter's shirts as a nighty. She tiptoed toward me and hopped up on the porch railing next to me, leaning against the white wooden column.

"Me and Pete just didn't want to interfere with Rose that's why we didn't come out to see her." She explained quietly.

I shook my head before handing her my cigarette. "Don't worry about it. I didn't expect you to. It's been a long time since she's been like this. I really do hate when that fucker comes to town."

"Jasper," Charlotte sighed. "He saved Rose from something that she should never have had to go through. Just like you did with Bella."

I took the cig back and leaned in between her legs. Her arms snaked around my shoulders as I rested my head back on her shoulder. "And he's the exact reason why I won't tell her, or anyone for that matter. Don't you see what he does to Rose? She gets so excited he's coming and then the nightmares come. He only brings her pain and reminds her of all the shit she's been through."

"He brings her happiness and strength," Charlotte murmured. "I know, that bothers you. That you weren't there for her but you were there for someone who means the world to her. And from what I could see, it doesn't have to be that way."

I shook my head, "Don't Char. I don't think I can bare any of this shit anymore."

"Just like I can't back home," she whispered to me.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there. I should've-Peter should've-"

"You can't always protect me. And you don't have to. I don't need bodyguards. I can handle it myself."

"Is that what you call handling it?" I asked as I turned in her arms and moved her blue hair from the side of her face, looking closely at the purple-yellow bruise.

"It's fine Jasper. It wasn't the worse he's done to me. I'm just glad I'm gone. I'm just glad he'll leave me the fuck alone. I like it better at home with Pete and Sandra."

"It's where you belong." I told her.

She took my cigarette for the final few drags before I put it out in the dirt. "And this is where you belong. You deserve a good life Jasper."

"Bella deserves a good life too, and Rose, but they will never get it."

"Ugh!" Charlotte groaned. "You're such a downer!"

I smiled and kissed her nose. "I think that's why we never worked out."

"Oh please," she laughed. "We both know why we broke up."

"Yeah, so you could get with my best friend." I teased.

She frowned in a joking manner. "_We _were plutonic. Come on now."

I smiled, and took her hand in mine. "I'll always love you though."

"And I'll love you."

"I'm glad we could have that moment," I laughed before I picked her up off the ledge and carried her into the kitchen. She giggled as I set her down on a bar stool and pulled a couple pans out to make breakfast. "What would you like to eat before I go to school?"

"Why are you still there?" Charlotte murmured, looking down at the counter. "You are capable of so much…"

I sighed and placed the pans on the stove before leaning forward with my back to her. "I don't want that speech Char."

"Why do you shut me out?" she asked in response. I didn't want to see her face, I know she's only caring for me but I hate it.

"Damn it Charlotte! I don't need another lecture. From anyone!" I yelled as I turned around to face her. I watched her take a shaky step toward me before her arms wrapped around my neck tightly. I let out a strangled breath and held her tightly to my body. Charlotte was a calming force, so sweet and innocent. She felt so pure in my arms, sometimes I think she's an angel sent from God to me and Pete.

"There is too much drama and bullshit in your life," she murmured. "This move is supposed to make everything better, but in order for that to happen you need to let go of some of it."

"I can't do that. You know I can't," I told her, releasing her from our hug with a small smile. "Now what do you want for breakfast?"

She sighed and tucked a lock of blue hair behind her ear. "French toast and eggs."

I smiled, "I can do that."

**BPOV(CDM)**

Rose was the last one to get out of bed and the last one to get ready. I can't remember the last time I had seen Rosalie so plain. Of course she was still beautiful but normally, even on her bad days, she made sure she looked nothing short of perfect. Today Rose wore a black t-shirt that read _Thank You for Noticing I Am Awesome_, with black Adidas trackies and black Toms. She wore a touch of make up and left her flowing blonde hair down. From sitting on the bed I watched Ali, dressed in a grey Darth Vader shirt, wrap her arms around Rose's waist, pulling her close. I envied Rose in that sense, that she had Ali to comfort her, and had Jasper and knew who saved her from Royce.

I had no one. I mean, yes I had Ali and Rose but it wasn't the same. I had no one to look at me like Ali did Rose and I think that makes all the difference. No matter how many times I scrub my skin in the shower or cover my bruises with make up, when I look in the mirror I look and feel dirty. I feel ugly-inside and out. With a quiet sigh, I retreated from the bedroom to let them have their moment and headed to the kitchen. I walked down the stairs slowly, taking my time. We were in no hurry. Nothing was rushed today since we were all up early. I looked down at my black _Karloff as the Mummy_ shirt, finding comfort in its big size, and smiled.

"What fuck do you mean?" I heard Jasper say as I approached the kitchen. He obviously wasn't talking to Esme.

"I mean what I said, she didn't tell me she was there until that day I talked to you on the phone. A lot of shit went down…" Peter responded.

I debated if I go somewhere else but I was thirsty and a little curious so I walked into the kitchen. Peter and Jasper looked at me for a second as I froze in the entrance.

"I'm just grabbing a drink," I told them. "Sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you."

Peter smiled. "It's not a prob Birdy. How are you on this fine morning?"

"Tired," I responded as I reached the fridge. "You?"

"I'm pretty good thanks." He responded.

"Do you want breakfast Bella?" Jasper asked as I grabbed a glass of orange juice.

"No, I'm fine thanks. I don't eat in the mornings."

Jasper nodded and leaned against the counter nearest him. I stood there awkwardly for a moment before pointing behind me. "I can leave…"

"No, please. Come sit down if you want. Jasper and I were just talking about a few things back home. It's no biggy." Peter told me.

I hesitantly came over and sat next to him on one of the bar stools. _He's not going to hurt you_, I reminded myself as I felt my hands begin to shake. I looked over at Peter and noticed a tattoo on his left forearm.

"_I shall be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I - I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference,_" I quoted Robert Frost's poem as I read his tattoo which was in a typewriter font starting the quote with _two roads diverged_. I loved this small simple poem, it was one of my favorites because of the simplicity and deep meaning. "I like your tattoo. That's one of my favorite poems."

I saw Jasper and Peter exchange a smile, "Thanks, I find it quite inspirational and thought I might as well have a permanent reminder of how I want to live my life so I had it tattooed where I can see it."

I smiled a little and reached up to pull my hair back to show behind my ear. "It's pretty lame but I have three music notes behind my ear that my mom let me get on my sixteenth birthday. It's nothing compared to yours or Jasper's though."

"I'll be damned! Did you know?" Peter laughed as he asked Jasper.

Jasper looked at me with a smile. "Not a clue. I think it's cool Bella. I know music is important you, and it's not about comparing them, it's about the meaning it holds to you."

I smiled and blushed slightly, "Thanks."

Then I finished my orange juice and looked between them awkwardly. "I'm going to go check on Rose and Ali… I'll see you guys in a bit."

_Please don't be fighting when I get into the room._

**JPOV(CDM)**

Peter let out a low whistle. "She is just full of surprises, isn't she?"

I nodded quietly to him before responding. "She definitely is. She's the sweetest girl you'll ever meet, she didn't deserve it. She didn't."

"She stayed in the room with us, didn't she? That's progress, I mean I'm a stranger."

"You didn't see her shaking?" I asked him. "I don't even think she noticed how much she was shaking. She's ready for someone to snatch her. Every sound she jumps at and if she feels someone in the hallway come up behind her to walked past her she panics."

"Fucking bastard. I hope he burns in hell. At least she is making progress though. She's _trying_."

"Yeah, at least. I think she's catching on. She gives me looks sometimes when I say things, like she can remember my voice or something." I told him, my hands clutching the kitchen counter.

"You're not Emmett and Bella isn't Rose. You are all separate people, nothing is the same situation." Peter told me.

"You don't know that. She's fragile. Rose is fragile and having Emmett around makes her break." I said with a heavy sigh.

"We will all work through it... Random question, where can Char and I go for something nice for Esme? Is there a fucking mall around this shit hole?"

I laughed, "Port Angeles is the closest to civilization, but Esme doesn't want your gifts Peter."

"We want to, Jesus Jasper stop trying to stifle me!"

I laughed and then looked at the clock, "I better go. I'll see you later."

I grabbed my black jacket and threw it on over my black Sucker Punch shirt before walking out of the kitchen. Peter went back upstairs to Charlotte because she went back to sleep and I watched the girls come down but something was different about them. The air felt heavier than usual and this wasn't just because of Rose's nightmares last night. Bella was biting her lip and running her fingers through a strand of hair while Rose and Ali maintained a big distance between each other as they retrieved their school things. What the fuck is going on?

**APOV (SCC)**

*A few minutes previous*

I pulled Rose close to me, wrapping my arms around her in an embrace.

"Are you sure you're okay, baby? I'm worried about you..." I trailed off. We hadn't talked all morning about last night's issues when we were getting ready, and as much as I wanted to move forward, I wasn't about to ignore the whole subject. I needed to be there for Rose, as horrible as I felt about it all.

"I'm fine." She snapped. She stepped farther away from the bed where I was sitting, and I had to drop my arms so that she didn't pull me away with her.

"Whoa, killer. Don't be like that with me, I'm trying to talk to you, baby." I said, standing up so that she had to look me in the eyes.

"Well, it would be gladly appreciated if you just left it alone." She stepped farther away from me, and I couldn't help being hurt by her actions and words. She didn't even want to fucking be around me anymore, and I was _just _trying to talk to her. It seems like that didn't happen often anymore, hell, it never happened.

"Is that what you want me to do, Rose? You want me to just _leave_ it? Just _leave_ you be like this? When I know it has made you this upset? Yeah, great idea. Seems like that's working well so far this morning." I stated, now getting pissed off.

"I told you I don't want to fucking talk about it, dammit." Rose said bitterly. She casted me a glare which sent me over the edge._ I'm so done with this. _That's when I blew up, I'd had enough.

"You don't want to fucking talk about anything, do you?" I yelled, looking her straight in the face.

"That's not true," She argued weakly, knowing what I said was very true.

"Fuck yeah, it is! What world are you living in? You always want me to "drop it", to "leave it", to "let you be", that it is "no big deal". Well you know what, Rosalie? I've had it. I bite my tongue, but I feel like I don't even fucking know you anymore, there's so much you don't tell me." I yelled, finally getting the point across that I had been thinking about for weeks now.

"How can you say that? I tell you like everything." She snapped back.

"Oh yeah? Denial isn't just a river in Egypt, Rose. What about Jasper? Can you explain that whole story? Because I think there needs to be some filling in somewhere here. You barely even mentioned him when we got together, and then he comes and you're all close and comfortable-"

Rose cut me off, "Don't you drag Jasper into this! He is innocent and has nothing to do with our problems. Jasper has been great the whole time he has been here, and the last thing I want is involving him in this discussion. And you don't tell me everything either, Ali."

"Yeah, but that's a lot different! I'm your girlfriend, for fuck's sake, and you can't even talk me about last night! Or Emmett or Jasper! What are with these secrets? You used to talk to me about everything, now I feel like I don't know anything!" I shouted, careful not to attract attention of the whole house.

"There are some things I don't feel like discussing, you should respect that." She said simply, clearly wanting to be done with this conversation for now.

"Rose, why are you shutting me out?" Just then Bella walked in the room, looking startled from the tone and pitch of our voices. She stood there only for a second before seeing my facial expression and walking out of the room as quickly as she did come in.

"I'm not shutting you out. I just don't want to talk about some stuff, like I said."

"Whatever, Rosalie. I'm not blind. I can tell you keep things from me. And you know exactly what I mean when I say that, there shouldn't have to be further explaining." I replied to her stupid comment, following Bella's footsteps out the room and down the stairs, hearing Rose come down shortly behind me.

_Great, this is really fucking great. _I grabbed my bag off the kitchen table in silence, and turned towards the door. I saw Jasper's WTF face and chose to ignore it, not feeling in the mood to explain anything. I was pissed off enough already, the last thing I needed was a reenactment of the whole fucking thing. I walked outside to the car, the chilly air stinging my face. It felt good to be out of the house for a minute, everything inside felt stifling. Like a bomb, things were about to explode, I could feel the pressure. The door closed in the background behind my thoughts, pulling me into reality.

The car ride to school was silent, as we all knew better than to try and start a conversation. I looked back and Bella was biting her fingernail, looking out the window, and Jasper just sat quietly next to her, playing with a hem on the knee of his jeans. Rose sat next to me, and even though her arm could almost touch mine, it felt like she was a million miles away from me. I pulled into the parking lot after what seemed like hours but was only minutes. Everyone got out of the car, and Bella handed me my bag from the back.

"Thanks," I forced out a smile, reaching my hand out to her to grab it. Bella just smiled back understandingly. That was the thing about her that I loved, she never pushed anything. We all went to our separate classes, until I saw them all again for lunch. The day ticked by so slow, and I wondered what would happen between Rose and I. We had been together for four fucking years. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. But then again, I've been holding this back for weeks. She deserves to know how I feel and I deserve to tell her. I'm sick of this shit, and it was about time it came out. I wish she could see it and understand how I feel about this, it's like she was in denial or something. I feel bad Bella had to walk into that though, I can't imagine how nervous that made her. It was just Rose and I, but any kind of yelling and shouting makes her uncomfortable.

I pondered back and forth in my head, never resting my thoughts. The first and second period of the day went by fast, as I was too tired and drained from last night and this morning to think. The more awake I got as the day went on, the more I thought, and the more I watched the clock tick by. _Please, just let me make it to lunch, then at least I can be with people who understand why I'm so bitchy today._

As if my prayers had been answered, the bell rang, and soon the sound of people jumping up and grabbing their stuff to leave filled the room and the hallway. I went to my locker first to drop my books off and grab the rest I needed for the afternoon, before walking alone to the lunchroom to our usual table. Rose sat with her lunch untouched, and Jasper and Bella weren't there yet. I sat down next to her, looking down. It was an uncomfortable silence, but neither of us were moving to another table alone.

"Hi," Rose said quietly, rolling an apple around in her hand.

"Hey." I replied.

"Look, I need to talk to you." Rose stated, setting the apple down on the table.

"Fine, better make it quick, I don't want Bella hearing any of this. It upsets her." I said, looking at her sternly.

"Ali... I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have gotten mad at you for that." She started, "I've been thinking about it all morning, and I don't want to do that to you. I don't mean to, it's not like I have stuff to hide from you, I just don't want to talk about some stuff. But I can change, Alice. I can change that." I looked at Rose, wondering where this all came form. This was the last thing I was expecting to happen at the lunch table, Rose wasn't usually one for apologizing and everything.

"Okay..." I trailed off, not sure what to say. She really caught me off guard.

"I really messed up, I know. I don't mean to leave you out like that, it's just hard for me to talk about some things. But I can get better with it, I promise, Ali. I just need some time."

"And how am I supposed to believe you? You do know you were out of line, don't you? I was just trying to help you, Rose." I said, the anger from this morning coming back out.

"I know, and I'm really sorry about that Alice. But really? When do I_ ever _apologize? Never. So you know I'm not just bullshitting you. I really feel bad about this, and I wish I could go back and change it, but I can't. So instead, I'm trying to move forward and fix things. I don't want to lose you." She said sincerely, a small smile on her face.

I sat there for a minute, thinking about the words she had just said, before Bella and Jasper came up to the table.

"Hey guys," Bella said quietly, while Jasper sat down next to Rose and Bella did next to me.

"How are you, Rose?" Jasper asked, looking worried for a minute.

"I'm fine, thanks." Rose smiled reassuringly, before Jasper opened a bottle of water and look a long sip.

"You sure?" He asked again.

"Yes, I'm sure." She responded, looking over at me.

"Good," Jasper smiled after swallowing, "Man, I thought today would never end. Class just dragged. And I really need a smoke."

"I agree. With the classes dragging at least." I pitched in, taking a bite of the sandwich in front of me, and earned a smile from Jasper.

We sat around and talked at the table like normal, and Jasper and Bella both seemed confused as to what happened since Rose and I went from not talking to being more of our normal selves. I wasn't sure how to respond to her, but the more I thought about it, I should just forgive her. I know she doesn't mean to do what she did, and if she says that she'll work on it, then that's good enough for me.

"It's been a long day, but when we get home there's some stuff I have to do." Rose pointed out.

"Okay, like what?" Jasper asked, leaning his elbows on the table.

"I have to clean since Emmett is coming Saturday, and I won't have time to do it tomorrow, and of course I want everything to be ready when he gets here. I guess homework will have to wait." She sighed. I looked over at Jasper, expecting to see an understanding face, when I actually saw the opposite. He bit his lip, obviously holding back anger, but Rose didn't seem to notice.

"We can all help," Bella chimed in, smiling.

"Sounds good," Rose said, getting up. The bell had just rung, and as much as I had wished for lunch to come, I wished for the school day to be over with.

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what is going on in your head...**You don't know how much it means to me (us), and I'll promise to get the next chapter up sooner if you do ;) (a little bribing never hurts anyone).****


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey! New chapter up for Save Me! Thanks to those reviewers/favoriters/alerters! You guys are awesome. I start school tomorrow (09/06/11) so our updates are going to slow a little since we are both so busy! Sorry I(we) hope you enjoy this chapter!**

**We don't own twilight..unfortunately.**

**Chapter Eight**

**JPOV(CDM)**

I woke up angry, despite having a peaceful sleep. Today is the day. Today I have bite my tongue and watch that fucker embrace Rose and let her look at him like he's a fucking god. He saved her but he haunts and hurts her! I can't stand it. I don't know why she puts herself through it. I promised I'd be a good sport, well at least to Char and Pete; Rosalie doesn't actually know my detest for him. I sat at my piano and stared blankly out the window into the backyard. I just let my anger burn in me and bundle up until I was ready to take it out on something else later. The world is full of bastards. I've had too many experiences with them, it can't be normal.

Suddenly I noticed movement in the backyard and realized it was one of the girls walking around and taking a seat under one of the big oak trees. I probably should've left them alone but it was four in the morning, and it was freezing. I quietly made my way downstairs and grabbed a blanket from the living room before heading out the back door. The cool air embraced my bare chest and I shivered. Damn it, I should've wore a shirt. As I got closer I realized it was Bella and she was curled into a ball crying, sobbing actually.

"Bella?" I murmured as I approached, making sure she knew it was me.

"Just leave me here," she cried. "I just want to freeze."

Despite what she cried I wrapped the blanket around her securely. "No, I can't let you do that."

I watched whatever strength she had left crumble as she leaned into my arms. I hesitantly put my arms her and pulled her to my chest. I stroked her hair softly, soothingly, until I picked her up and cradled her like a baby in my arms. I carried her weightless body back into the house and went straight to the parlor. The farthest back room of the house, so no one could hear her. She clutched the blanket tightly around her and attempted to take a deep breath but it was strangled.

"I can't… I had a dream... I was in Penn's Park on a sunny summer day here," she whispered. "There was a little girl with me and she looked just like me. She started tugging my hand to the swing set and suddenly the storm clouds rolled in and she started calling me mommy…"

Oh Jesus… I thought, she can't be pregnant.

"And it broke my heart because I can no longer have children," she cried. "He ruined my chances of ever having family…"

I shushed her soothingly and rubbed her back as she sat in my lap. "I'm so sorry Bella. I'm so sorry you had to go through that. But he's gone now. He can't hurt you ever again."

She sniffed and nodded her head. Her beautiful brown doe eyes stared up at me for a moment and I felt like they were piercing into my soul as they weld up with more tears.

"But who would ever want me now?" she whispered.

I hugged her closer as she snuggled her head into my shoulder and cried. I stroked her hair softly and shushed her. "Oh Bella," I whispered. "Everything is gonna be okay."

That became my mantra as I held her in my arms until she fell fast asleep from exhaustion. Once I knew she was in a deep sleep, I fell apart. And for the first time, in a long time, I felt tears fall down my face. I didn't sob or sniffle, it was just salt water against my skin. This beautiful girl who was fast asleep in my arms had her life ruined by a sick stranger. That was one thing Rose was lucky about, Royce didn't beat her first. He was just a drunk idiot. No, Bella's rapist was sick and twisted. He wanted to watch her suffer because it turned him on. I reached up and wiped my face with the palm of my hand before pulling the blanket more around Bella.

"Jasper?" Charlotte asked as she walked into the parlor.

I sniffled this time. "What Char?"

"Are you okay?" she asked as she took a seat next to me.

I nodded silently but of course I was lying. I looked down at Bella and moved a strand of hair from her face. "She can't have kids… That sick mother fucker…"

Charlotte gasped, raising her hand to her mouth. "My God…"

"I need to go for a run. Let off some steam. Can you watch her for me? Just make sure she's okay when she wakes up?" I asked her.

Charlotte nodded and snuggled into a blanket before I picked Bella up as I stood and placed her back on the couch so her head was in Charlotte's lap. I went to my room and changed into some shorts before heading out. I didn't care where I ran to, or for how long I was going to run I just needed to be out that house and I need to clear my head of everything.

**BPOV(CDM)**

I woke up to someone running their fingers through my hair and I almost screamed until I heard their voice.

"Shh, Bella it's just me Charlotte. You're fine," she murmured softly.

I rolled onto my back and left my head in her lap, staring up at her. She moved some hair from my face and smiled down at me. "You feeling better?"

I nodded. "Yes… sorry about that."

"I understand," she nodded.

"Who told you?" I whispered.

"Jasper," she answered. "He wanted to make sure we kind of laid off, especially Pete."

I remained quiet. I wish everyone didn't have to know but I understand why my friends tell everyone. They are really just looking out for me. I sat up but stayed next to her and pulled my hair into a pony tail. "How long have I been asleep?"

Charlotte leaned to look at the clock, "Maybe two hours? I fell asleep too, if it makes you feel any better. Jasper got you to sleep and then when I came down he went for a run."

I groaned. "I didn't want him to see me like that. I didn't want anyone to see me like that… That's why I left the house."

"He doesn't mind," Charlotte told me with a smile. "He doesn't mind all the crying, he's good with that stuff. He's like a human teddy bear. He's soft and warm, and ready to hug you back. He's a good boy."

"You really like him," I whispered.

Charlotte laughed, "I love him. He's my best friend, other than Pete of course. He also happens to be my ex-boyfriend."

That made sense. "That explains the touching…"

She smiled, "Yeah people don't really get it. They normally think I'm some two timing slut but that's just how Jasper and I have always been and Peter knows it doesn't mean anything."

"I know what doesn't mean anything?" Peter asked from the parlor doorway.

"Jasper and I's teasing," Charlotte smiled at him.

Peter came over and took a seat next to Charlotte, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. "Well he _did_ have you first, so I guess it's okay," he laughed. "Nah, I trust you both and besides I'm better looking than Jasper so I know you'd never leave me for him."

Charlotte rolled her eyes at him with a smile and looked at me. "See what I have to deal with? These two goofballs twenty-four/seven!"

I smiled, "They don't seem that bad."

"So do you live here too or what?" Peter asked me.

"My dad is the police chief of Forks so he works night shifts every other week and he goes to Seattle for a few things. He doesn't like me alone in the house anymore so Esme told him I could stay here or at Ali's place."

Peter let out a whistle, "No parties at Birdy's."

"Pretty much," I nodded.

We sat there for a little longer and talked about random stuff, and I'm really glad to say I felt like I loosened up a little. I still couldn't stop from shaking when Peter walked in the room but I eventually stopped feeling so threatened. It was seven o'clock when Rose bounced down the stairs hand-in-hand with Ali all ready to go to pick stuff up for lunch. They said a quick hello and good bye to me after I declined the offer to go with them. I'm glad they got over their fight from a Thursday. They have been rocky lately.

Charlotte excused herself to get ready which left Peter and I awkwardly on the couch. I bit my lip and was wondering when an appropriate time would be for me to excuse myself as well.

"Bella, are you like Rose?" Peter asked.

"In what way?" I responded, that's a weird question.

He cleared his throat and I got the drift before he asked. "I mean...you know, do you like, like girls now and hate the men specimen or….?"

I looked down at my hands, "I don't know. I don't feel the attraction to girls but I'm not necessarily looking at guys at the moment… I'm not a lesbian. I've told myself enough times that not all men are evil because I know that's true. I mean a guy saved me right? So I just had some really bad luck…"

"So I don't have to worry about you trying to steal my girlfriend?" he teased, trying to lighten up the air. I smiled and shook my head in response. "Okay, that's good."

We were quiet for a moment before he looked at his fingers. "Do you remember the guy who saved you…?" he asked, then quickly added. "Shit, I don't mean to make you uncomfortable."

I bit my lip and ran a hand through my hair. "It's fine… I understand. I can't let it haunt me forever. It was really dark… and I know I was really out of it. You are probably going to think I'm crazy but the more I think about it the guy really seems like…"

I trailed when Jasper showed up in the doorway looking between Peter and I. "Jasper." I said.

"You guys alright?" he asked with a small huff. There he stood in black gym shorts and nothing else, with his six-pack sculpted chest all sweaty. I bit my lip and nodded.

"I have to go shower since Rose and Ali are gonna be back soon. It was nice talking to you Peter."

I squeezed past Jasper, who looked concerned, and was thankful to be out of there. My heart was racing, why can't I be stronger than this?

**JPOV(CDM)**

"What was that Pete?" I asked leaning against the door frame.

"What was that?" he repeated. "What was that? That was about to some insight into the situation and you ruined it! You and your sweaty ass had to walk in here, if you could've walked in five minutes later things would've been a lot different."

"What the fuck are you talking about?" I asked.

"What the fuck am I talking about? I'm saying she was going to tell me what she could remember about her savior and she was going to compare him to someone!" Peter told me.

"Jesus, really?"

Peter nodded and I rammed my fist into the doorframe next to me. I was about to question him some more when the doorbell rang. Damn it, he was early.

**APOV (SCC)**

"What else do we need to pick up?" I rattled a list of grocery items for lunch off in my head while I walked next to Rose, hand in hand, while she pushed the grocery cart. We were picking up stuff for when Emmett came for lunch later, and I was trying to work up enthusiasm about seeing him. Rose and I had moved past Thursday, but I still wish she would say something about it, him, anything. She had apologized and I had forgiven her, but she has yet to say something about it since. I wasn't about to bring it up, I knew that seeing Emmett was important for her today, he was her savior and she really loved him as a person. I wasn't about to ruin that for her. That would just make me look like the bad guy, and I love her, no matter what comes between us. Even him.

"I'm not sure, but I definitely don't want to forget something important." Rose said, her eyes scanning the grocery store for something we may have missed.

"Well.. we grabbed cheese.. but butter may be important. Duhhh." I laughed, grabbing a package and throwing it haphazardly into the cart, "I think we're good, really Rose." I laughed again.

"If you say so.." She said. She turned the corner into an aisle to get back to the front of the store to check out, and within a few seconds, was running down the aisle. It was only around nine, so there were very few people in the store, but the few that were there stared at her. She was like a child in a woman's body sometimes. I laughed at her, watching her run until she was halfway down, which was quite a scene in her high heels, before jumping onto the bottom rack of the cart and riding down the rest of the aisle.

"I have such a loser girlfriend," I joked with her when I had finally met up with her at the end.

"Yeah, you do, but you have to admit, that was some fucking sweet speed there, I was all aerodynamic." She joked back, moving her arms like she was doing the breaststroke, imitating her so-called "aerodynamic self".

"You really are a loser!" I bent over from laughing so hard, almost knocking the display of magazines in my state of outbursts.

"I'm not the one almost tipping over the whole freaking magazine shelf!" I could see the tears in her eyes from the laughter as I had to wipe my own away. These were the times that Rose and I had that I wouldn't give up for the world. These were the times I remembered when we had our arguments. Whenever something didn't go right, I remembered all the times that did. No matter our little quarrels, Rose brought out the best in me. And that was one thing I loved about her.

"Seems like you're asking for a race to the car, with that kind of teasing..." I trailed off, laughing.

"You're on. You know I'll win." She mocked.

"Oh yeah, right." I said in a fake believing tone, while the woman scanned our food, giving us a funny look before we left.

We talked in the car ride home about all the great memories that came to mind.

"So on a serious note though, what time is Emmett supposed to be here again?" I asked, checking the time on my phone while we drove down our street.

"Apparently... now?" Rose said with a questioning tone, pulling in the driveway behind Emmett's car.

"Oh..." I trailed off, "I didn't think it was now. We should have gone earlier."

"Me neither. I guess he's early though!" She said, the happiness in her tone shining through. I was panicking since we weren't fully ready for guests, but Rose didn't seem to mind at all. Rose jumped out of the car and left the bags, going straight for the door. I followed her, wanting to be a good host, even though it technically wasn't my house. I was here enough for it to practically be considered it.

"I'm so excited to see Emmett," Rose squealed, walking up the house front steps.

"I'm glad honey, me too." I smiled, and squeezed her hand in mine.

Rose opened the front door and stepped inside, I followed in behind her. Jasper and Peter were standing in the door with Emmett, and Peter and Emmett seemed to be making small conversation until we walked in. Jasper looked thrilled to be standing there, his lips forced together in a tight line and his arms crossed over his chest.

"Emmett!" Rose yelled, running up to him.

"Rose! How's my baby?" I cringed, and noticed Jasper across from me doing the same. Emmett pulled her into a tight embrace, bringing her feet a good foot off the ground.

"Awesome! I'm so excited that you're finally here!" Rose squealed, a huge grin on her face.

"I'm excited to be here!" He said, grinning back at her.

"Sorry Ali and I are late, we were picking up some stuff for lunch and kinda got sidetracked in the store." She giggled at what seemed like the memory of our races before her face turning serious again.

"Oh, it's okay, I was quite a bit early. I took traffic into account and it's possible that I ended up speeding a bit to make it here faster." Emmett chuckled.

Rose smiled, "Nice, Em. So is everyone introduced then?" She asked.

"Yep, we already did." Jasper said quickly, clearly not wanting to go through those motions again.

"Okay..." Rose said, not sure what to say to Jasper's fast response.

"So where are Bella and Charlotte?" Rose asked.

"Bella and Char went upstairs earlier to get ready for the day." Peter filled us in.

"Oh okay cool. So can I get anything to drink for anyone?" Rose said, walking in the kitchen and motioning for us all to follow her. Esme wasn't supposed to be home from running errands until lunch, so Rose and I had to help with things around here more than usual. She poured drinks for the guys and I, and a few minutes later Bella and Charlotte came down together. Bella seemed to look really comfortable with Charlotte, I was glad to see her being more herself with others. I knew that with Emmett being here, that would be another male for her to get used to, and that worried me.

"Hi guys." Charlotte said, smiling.

"Hey Emmett, I want you to meet Charlotte and Bella. Charlotte is Peter's girlfriend and Bella is Ali and my's best friend." Rose explained.

"Well hey to both of you. It's nice to meet you." Emmett said with a smile. Charlotte grinned and Bella forced out a small smile, although I knew by the look on her face that she was a bit frightened. I saw her hands visibly shaking from a distance.

"Well I think that the girls and I are going to get lunch together, if you guys are ready to eat?" Rose questioned.

"You know me.. I'm always hungry." Emmett laughed.

Rose giggled, "True, so is everyone else hungry too?" The unanimous vote was a yes, so after grabbing groceries, Charlotte, Peter, and Jasper went to go hang out in the living room while Emmett was shown his room and stuff by Esme, who was more than glad to hear that Emmett had arrived early this morning.

"I'll let you get settled and scope out the place when you're in your room. Hey Jasper? Can you help me to carry one of Emmett's suitcases up?" Esme called into the living room.

"Sure Esme." I heard muffled from the other room. Jasper passed through the hallway, a scowl on his face as he went to Emmett's car with Esme to grab his bags.

We were planning to have chicken breasts, mashed potato, green beans, and salad for lunch. Bella was making homemade rolls to go with it, and working on the salad. It was Rose's job to work on the chicken and I was doing the green beans and mashed potatoes. Esme came to help shortly thereafter, and soon the kitchen was filled with delicious aromas.

"Jeez, it's about time that lunch is ready!" Emmett bellowed from the staircase, coming down ten minutes later. I laughed with Rose, he was actually pretty funny. Jasper came in to see if he could help with anything, and he had gone red in the face.

"You alright, Jazz?" Rose asked, rinsing her hands form the chicken.

"Yeah. I'm fine." He replied, it sounded like he was trying to hide from Rose how annoyed he was... at something.

Within the next half hour, everything was prepared and getting put into serving dishes to be put on the already set massive dining room table. As many people as there were in the house, the one thing it lacked was space, which was a good thing in this case. We all sat down around the grand table, and Esme helped everything to be served out.

"So do you all have plans for today?" Esme asked around the table while everyone started to dig in. They all kinda chattered and shook their heads for a second before coming up with a "no" and finally looking at Bella, Rose, and I for thoughts.

"I figured we could get out and do something fun since it is Saturday? Like shopping?" Rose asked the group, not having made plans ahead of time either.

"Where were you thinking of?" I asked her.

"I was thinking of Seatt- Well, we don't really have enough time to ride there and back since it's over three hours and already noon... We could ride up over to Port Angeles and spend the rest of the day and evening there?" Rose thought out. It was a good thing she decided against Seattle, we hadn't been there since Bella's rape and I doubt that was some place she wanted to visit anytime soon. Rose needed to start thinking, I wished she didn't mention it out loud. Bella's face had turned a pale color, more so than usual, and I instantly felt bad for her. Rose was in her own world because she was so wrapped up in Emmett being here, that she completely forgot about things like that with Bella. Jasper, who she was so excited to see just a mere week or so ago, seemed to be completely out of sorts and upset, and Rose didn't seem to notice a single bit.

"Sounds good," Emmett said, cutting a big piece of chicken in half and shoving it in his mouth.

"I agree," Charlotte said, "I could never not use a new shirt or two." She smiled and Peter nodded his head in agreement to going.

"So are we all set, then? Port Angeles it is?" Rose asked.

"I think so." I said. I really hope Rose doesn't say something like that when Bella's around again.

We all ate everything, talking in between bites and the guests getting to know each other. I was glad to see everyone here and happy, my only concern was Bella and Jasper. Bella was always a concern for me, but Jasper seemed to be a step away from fuming.

After lunch Esme volunteered to clean up everything so that we all had time to get on the road and go shopping, bless her soul. Esme was so wonderful to have everyone over.

"So who's getting in which car?" Bella asked quietly, once we were out and in the driveway.

"Jasper, is it alright if me and Char take your bike?" Peter asked, grabbing the helmets.

"Yeah go ahead," Jasper nodded and so I looked between the rest of us.

"Bella and I can ride together, and if Jasper you want to join us.." I trailed off.

"Sure," He said quietly, seeming careful not to say something else.

"Awesome, then I'll ride with Emmett." Rose filled in, "This works out perfect. Okay, so we all are just following then? No need for directions?"

"Nope, we're good." Peter said. They got on the bike and Rose and Emmett got in Emmett's car, and I hopped in the driver's seat. In my rear view mirror I could see Jasper in the backseat, his angered expression looking out the window while I started the car and followed Peter and Charlotte out. Bella was quiet and didn't say much, and Jasper didn't say anything. I could tell he wasn't happy with something.

About an hour later I was find a spot to parallel park in on a street in Port Angeles. There wasn't nearly as much here as there was in Seattle, but you could definitely find some cute and interesting stuff.

Rose jumped out of Emmett's car, which was parked ahead of ours, with a zip in her step, "Hey baby. Have a good ride up?" She asked, holding my hand. Wow, a sign of affection. That was pretty much a first since Emmett got here. Was that really just this morning?

"Yeah, we just hung out." I said, walking down the road. Emmett, Jasper, and Bella had joined us, and Rose went to walk next to Emmett. Bella stayed close next to me, and Jasper beside her. Charlotte and Peter were parked a block up, so a few minutes later they had joined us as well.

"So where do you guys wanna go to first?" Rose asked.

"I think that Charlotte and I were going to check out that store across the way," Peter said, "Jasper, you want to come?" I think Peter knew that Jasper was off and needed some time to get away.

"Yeah, that's great." He said, joining their group.

"Bella and Emmett, you guys with us?" Rose asked, motioning herself and me.

"Yeah sure, whatever you want Rosie." I made a face. That's my name for Rose. Not that I was jealous.

"Okay then, we can meet up in say, an hour back here?" Rose asked.

"Fine with us." Peter said, and Charlotte, he, and Jasper made their way across the street and into the store. That left us to rome around the stores on this side of the street for a few. We looked into the first store that was on our way, which was a gift shop. There were a lot of funny things to get there and Emmett made tons of jokes, which made Rose laugh and Bella uncomfortable. I decided that she and I could go to the bookstore that was the next store over, and Rose and Emmett could spend some time together.

"This is a cool one... on psychology." Bella said, setting the book down and picking up another one while I watched her, "Hey, but thanks for coming here with me. I know books aren't really your thing, but I'm glad I could just get away for a few minutes."

"Yeah no problem. You know.. If you don't feel comfortable with a situation you can just excuse yourself.. like back there in the gift shop." I told her, smiling softly.

She smiled back, and set another book down, "Thanks Ali. I'm really glad I can talk to you."

"Always." I grabbed a random book from the shelf just for entertainment. Oh, cooking, yeah, that's not my thing. I set it down before Bella laughed.

"We can go to another store, I'm done here, whenever you're ready." She said, more herself than usual.

"Yeah, that's fine." We ended up hanging out and just talking for the next couple stores, and before I knew it, Peter, Charlotte, and Jasper were meeting back up with all of us for dinner. This shopping trip was a good idea that Rose had. Charlotte, Rose, Peter, and Bella all ended up buying different stuff, and I think it gave everyone some time to calm down from the craziness. Jasper didn't look much happier, but when Charlotte made a face at him for making fun of her for tripping, he chuckled. Rose was all about spending time and talking with Emmett, and as long as it didn't cause anymore problems, I was glad that she was happy.

**Thanks for reading! Please let me know what is going on in your head...**You don't know how much it means to me (us), and I'll promise to get the next chapter up sooner if you do ;) (a little bribing never hurts anyone).****


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay guys sorry we have been sooo busy! School is a killer! Here is my (CDM) half of Save Me. SCC is really really busy and hasn't finished her bit yet. We have agreed that I will post my half to keep you guys entertained for now until we get our lives sorted out! I hope you guys enjoy!**

**Chapter Nine**

**JPOV(CDM)**

It was starting to become a morning ritual for me to walk out onto the back porch for my morning cigarette but this morning I had a very unexpected guest. Bella sat on the railing, much like Charlotte did days ago, and just stared out into the backyard. I moved to stand next to her while playing with a cigarette between my fingers. Her beautiful face turned to look at me and she smiled. A genuine smile.

"You okay?" I asked with a hint of concern in my voice.

She nodded and moved a little closer to me. "I had the strangest dream," she murmured.

"You wanna talk about it?"

She shook her head in response. "Not really… I just… I don't know. I'm sorry."

"It's okay," I told her, noticing her shaking hands. I reached out and touched them softly, feeling how cold they were. "Bella you're freezing."

Her brown eyes just stared into mine and I felt like putty in her hands. Soon her sweet lips were on mine and we were kissing. Her soft plump lips were delicious against mine and I couldn't help but want more. I forgot everything about everything and opened my mouth under hers to kiss her deeply. Her hands moved into my hair and I couldn't help but groan.

Knock, knock. I woke up to the sound of someone at my door. I sat up in bed quickly and took a deep breath before running a hand through my slightly damp hair. What the fuck is going on?

"Come in," I called and watched my door open. I watched Bella walk into my room and stop at the door looking nervous. Oh Jesus.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "Esme asked me if I could wake you up. Emmett's girlfriend Jane is coming over or something? And she wants your help."

I nodded, trying to contain my annoyance. "No need to apologize. Thanks Bells, I'll be down in a few."

She nodded and was about to walk out when she stopped in the door way. "You don't like him, do you?"

"Who, Emmett?" I asked, and she nodded. "To be quite honest, no I don't."

"Can I ask why?" she whispered.

I rubbed the back of my neck and she took that as a sign to leave. "I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked."

She was about to shut the door when I quickly got up and rushed to it. "Hey, wait. Bella, wait. I'm sorry." She stood there and looked at me. "I'm sorry. It's just, I know that you are Rose's best friend and I know you probably know Emmett a little bit. I just don't want to start anything."

"He scares me," she whispered. "I know Emmett is a nice guy but he just seems so intimidating."

I nodded. "I understand that. It'll be that way for a while."

"Do you think Rose doesn't notice or she's just ignoring you?"

I looked down the stairs past her before ushering back inside my room, shutting the door quietly. I watched her take a seat on the couch next to the desk and I took a seat next to her.

"All she cares about right now is Emmett, unless one of us ended up in a hospital she wouldn't really notice."

"And you don't like that?" she asked.

I nodded. "That's one, but I don't like that he hurts her. She seems so happy now that he's here but those nightmares that she had, they were because of him."

Bella gave me a quizzical look so I responded, "Rose is strong and has gotten over her rape, but when Emmett comes around it just reminds her that it happened because she automatically ties him to saving her from it. Does that make sense?"

Bella nodded, "I understand that, but if he makes her happy isn't that what's important?"

"It didn't hurt you yesterday that she had no regard for you when she mentioned Seattle? Or that she barely talked to Ali yesterday?" I asked.

Bella bit her lip and looked down at her hands. "Okay yeah, that bothered me but it was just a natural thing to say. We used to do that all the time."

"Really?" I asked, surprised. I wonder why Rose never told me she was in town, if she was there often.

Bella nodded. "At least once a month, those girls are shopaholics."

I smiled, "Yeah I found that out."

Bella attempted to smile back, "I better let you get ready… I'll see you downstairs."

Once I heard both doors shut I started pacing in my room. What the fuck is this? Seriously? I shouldn't be having dreams like that about her, I shouldn't even be _thinking_ about her! This is bad…. This is really bad. I ran a hand through my hair and fought the urge to hit something.

"You fucking idiot!" I yelled before changing into my dark wash jeans that faded at the knee with a blue and white striped Hollister Co. V-neck tee. After being completely pissed last night, I showered so I wasn't going to bother this morning. As I trudged down the stairs I walked into the kitchen seeing all girls helping make lunch while Emmett was washing a few dishes. They all sort of stopped to look at me as I walked in and I froze in the doorway. I tried not to glare at Emmett but it was hard. I really needed a smoke.

"Jasper," Esme smiled softly. "Janey should be here in a few minutes. I was hoping you could help her get settled."

Why can't he boyfriend do that? "Yeah sure," I nodded. "Do you need any help in here?"

"No, but I want a hug!" Rose proclaimed with a smile. That's new… even Ali gave her a strange look. I chuckled and walked over to her. I engulfed her in my arms, lifting her off the ground. I missed Rose, I really did and I missed _my_ Rosie. I miss the person she was before the rape, and right now I'm missing the Rose she was before Emmett showed up.

I will forever be grateful to him for stopping that bastard, but I hate him for what he does to her. And I hate myself for being exactly in his position. I don't want Bella to find out. She took in a deep breath and giggled, "You smell good."

I laughed again as I set her down, "I do? Good to know."

She went back to chopping some vegetables and I stood behind Ali to wrap my arm around her shoulders. "How you doing, Al?"

"I'm pretty good, 'bout yourself?" she responded with a smile.

"About the same."

"That's good," she said but stopped suddenly when we all heard Bella squeak.

"Ow!" she hissed as she held her hand to her chest.

I quickly grabbed a towel and wrapped it around her finger gently. She shook her head while reaching up to wipe a tear away from her eye. "I am so sorry!" she exclaimed in a rush. "I can't believe I just did that!"

"Oh, Bella Dear, don't be sorry!" Esme said as she came to the other side of Bella. I sat her down and unwrapped the towel to examine her finger. She bit her lip as I looked at it.

"You got it pretty good, but I don't think you need stitches. Just a really good bandaid and antiseptic." I told her and Esme agreed with me.

"I feel sick," she whispered and Ali looked at me.

"She faints at the sight of blood."

"Of course you do," I smiled. "Come on, I'll take you to Carlisle's study and clean it up."

"Thank you Jasper," Esme smiled.

I led Bella out of the kitchen with my arms out, ready to catch her. I knew she didn't really want to be touched. Suddenly though, she started to fall and I quickly reach out on instinct. She gasped but didn't do anything louder than that as I scooped her up in my arms. "Sorry," I murmured. "I didn't want to you falling."

She just nodded quickly and rested her head on my shoulder. Suddenly the doorbell rang as I walked toward it to the study. I gave a shout to the kitchen but I don't think anyone heard me so I held Bella in one arm and answered it. A short blonde girl with soft mahogany eyes was at the door with a bag by her feet.

"Jane?" I asked.

She nodded and offered a smile. "You must be Rose's cousin."

"Yeah, I'm Jasper. Come on in," I stepped aside and brought both my hands back to Bella. She bit her lip awkwardly as Jane looked at us. "I have to go take care of this one, Esme is straight through to the kitchen."

"Thank you Jasper, it's nice to see you again Bella."

"You too Jane," she mumbled before I took her into the study.

She groaned into my shoulder. "That was so awkward!"

"Sorry, I didn't want to leave her standing on the doorstep or have you fall over…"

"No!" Bella said, her cheeks heating up pink. "I was just saying. I know you were being helpful. I'm sorry."

I fixed her finger up and made she was okay enough to stand up before I was kneeling in front her as she sat on Carlisle's black leather couch. She looked down at me with a soft almost-smile and played with her hair. "Thank you Jasper."

"It's no problem," I told her as I reached out to rub her knee lightly. We both froze at my action. "Shit, I'm sorry Bella. I wasn't thinking."

She shook her head, "N-no, it's fine. I know it wasn't anything."

I nodded, "Okay."

We sat there awkwardly for a moment before I saw her move forward a little bit and her eyes searched my face. I straightened up and moved toward her. As I stared at her face now, I realized how beautiful she was. I mean I noticed since the night I saved her, even just seeing her face lit by red and blue flashing lights, but today she wore no make what so ever and she looked so natural. She wasn't fake like most girls, and the blemishes and scars from the rape only made her more beautiful. I reached out slowly and let my fingers caress her cheek. I don't know what came over me, but I couldn't stop myself.

She leaned forward a little more and I raised so that my forehead touched hers. Her eyes were closed but I could hear how calm her breathing was and I felt her shaking almost stop under my touch. I was so close, I could taste her sweet breath on my lips and I could only imagine how she tasted. My lips almost touched hers before I pulled away quickly, standing up and taking a few steps back. I ran both my hands through my hair and stared at her.

"Fuck," I whispered under my breath. "Bella, I shouldn't have done that. I'm sorry. I can't, I can't do that to you. It's not-"

"Jasper!" Esme called, interrupting me.

I looked behind me to the door and quickly retreated after a another 'sorry'. What the fuck am I doing?

**BPOV(CDM)**

My heart was racing as I sat alone on the couch, fighting the tears that came to my eyes. He didn't want me. How could anyone want me? I'm broken, dirty. No one wants that. I wiped my eyes quickly and stood up slowly. I walked upstairs and grabbed my purse and cell phone. When I came back down I left them by the door and walked back into the kitchen to find Jasper and Jane gone, probably settling in, and went straight to Ali.

"I'm going to take a walk, I need some fresh air to clear my head." I told her.

"Okay," she said, setting her spoon down. "Just let me grab my jacket."

"No, I'm fine. I was just telling you so you know that I left. I'll be fine. I need some time alone."

"Okay…" Ali trailed. "Do you have your cell phone?"

I nodded. "Yes Mom," I teased to make her think I was in a better mood than I was. I hugged her and Rose before I grabbed my black satchel purse and left the house. I need to clear my head and get far away from that house as possible. I needed to be as far way from Jasper as I could possibly get. God, how embarrassing was that? I can't believe I did that. I don't even know why I did that.

**I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please please please, let me know what you think! thank you guys so so so much for your support with all of this! **


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey guys! Here is Ail's POV from SCC. School has been so busy and I haven't been on her ass about it enough lol. She did great so here it is and we hope you enjoy it :) I can't tell you when to expect a new chapter though. We are so sorry. I'll let you guys read now.**

**Chapter Nine**

**APOV(SCC)**

I turned around from cutting the rest of the vegetables for lunch, checking the wall. The seconds ticked away on the clock, but it felt like eternity. Bella had been gone for a while now, and I wasn't sure what to do. I went to the fridge and grabbed a bottle of water, hoping when the cool hit my throat that it would help calm me down. It didn't. I wanted to go with Bella when she said she was just going to leave by herself. Dammit, I should have insisted on going. I know she's old enough to leave on her own and everything, but ever since last summer, I've been protective of her. I think everyone has. Since she said she needed her space, I let her be. I now regretted that decision.

"How are those coming?" Rose asked about the veggies on the cutting board in front of me.

"They're fine. I'm almost done." I said. Rose was going to be cooking steak and had the job of preparing it. I wasn't much for handling meat. It grossed me out.

"That's good. I'm going to throw these towels in the wash from Bella. I hope her hand is alright. The last thing she needs is another scar." Rose pointed out.

"Yeah, but Jasper took care of her, she should be good." I replied, thinking of the best, despite my worried state coming through with her whereabouts. Rose left then, going to the laundry room. Esme, Jasper, and Jane were getting stuff settled, and Charlotte and Peter decided to run some errands on their own before lunch, which left just me in the kitchen.

"What's wrong?" Rose mentioned at my worried expression, standing by my side and rubbing my hand in hers.

"I'm so worried about Bella. I text her forever ago, and never got a response, and what if something happened?" I was mentally pacing back and forth, I may as well have been doing it physically.

"Oh, honey, I'm sure she's fine. You know Bella, she likes her alone time. Her cell's probably just on silent or something stupid." Rose pointed out, "Besides, what's the worst that can happen? She's just in the neighborhood."

I looked at her with a thick glare, that screamed, "you of all people should know."

"What's the worst that can happen to her? Really, Rose?" I voiced my thoughts.

"Okay, stupid question. I'm sorry. I just have a lot on my mind with everyone here."

I kinda just shrugged it off. I knew she was under a lot of pressure with Jasper and Emmett and everyone. She went back to the steaks and I went to cutting vegetables, but it wasn't long before I was checking the clock again, my phone yet to buzz on the countertop.

"Ali, stop worrying. I'm sure she's fine." Rose said.

"Yeah, and look what happened last time you told me that." I said, point blankly. The memories started coming back to me of that night, how stupid those girls were to leave her, the red and blue police lights lighting up the dark night sky. Rose accidentally dropped the black pepper jar she was holding in her hand.

"Don't use that against me, I had no way of knowing, Alice." She said, bending down to pick it off the wood floor. She casually walked out of the room, clearly upset that I said something so bold.

I went to sit down in the living room, everything was done for lunch and we were just waiting on everyone to get settled in and back. I text Bella again.

_Where are you? You have me worried sick. -Ali_

I waited for my phone to buzz yet again, and it never did.

"Well thanks for everything, and for helping me with my bags, Jasper. And Esme, I could never thank you enough for letting me stay while Emmett was here to visit Rose. I don't see him as much anymore since we both have busy schedules, and it's nice to spend some time with him and everyone else." I heard Jane say while descending the stairs.

"Oh Jane, it's no problem, darling. I'm so happy everyone is here, it makes me feel so grateful." Esme replied. She was so sweet, I wondered if that woman ever raised her voice.

Jane, Esme, and Jasper walked into the living room to join me.

"Where's Bella? Still not back yet?" Esme asked, sitting in the chair across from the couch I was laying lazily on.

"Of course not." I said, worriedly. As soon as I finished my sentence, the front door swung open with a creek.

"Bella?" I asked, getting up quickly off the couch to reach the door.

"Hmm?" She asked, slipping out of her shoes and hanging her coat over the banister of the stairs. As soon as I reached her I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her close to me.

"What happened to you? You had me worried sick, Bella." I said softly in her hair, the anger of her not returning my calls disappeared.

"I'm sorry," she said, pulling away, "My phone is dead." Bella pushed her phone back into her pocket, and from the opposite side of the room, I heard a faint "I told ya." Whatever. At least I actually care. I was fuming, and was trying my best not to show it.

She looked around the room casually, glancing at everyone.

"It's nice to formally meet you Jane, sorry the last time I saw you I was a bit occupied.." She trailed off. I watched her eyes glance over to Jasper, her face seeming to fall a bit when she met his gaze.

"Oh, no worries. I'm glad you're alright." Jane replied back sweetly. Bella nodded her head in response.

"Shall we have some lunch?" Esme asked us all. There was a unanimous "yes" filling the room, and we all filed out to the kitchen. Bella and Jasper and I were the last ones in the living room, and I walked out, but not before hearing Jasper.

"You okay? I'm so sorry about earlier. I feel awful." He said to Bella. Is he talking about the cut? I didn't think it was that bad...

"It's fine." She said quietly, with a small bit of.. hurt? in her voice, before I felt her close next to me again.

"What's wrong?" I whispered to her, once she was at my side. I glanced over at her, watching her face go tomato red, before she finally got a response out.

"Nothing, I'm fine."

"Okay..." I trailed off, before Esme was handing a plate firmly in my hand, and plating me up.

There was chatter filling the house, but I couldn't get her voice out of my head. Rose. _I told ya, _it ranted, over and over again. Rose needs to get her shit together, if she keeps this attitude up, more people than just me will be pissed. Ever since Emmett got here, it's Emmett-this, Emmett-that, what about the rest of us? She could give a rat's ass about anything, and I think it bothers us all. Especially Bella, but she doesn't have the nerves to say anything. What the hell was that "Seattle" crap the other day? Real nice, Rose.

I sat down at the grand dining table with everyone and stewed in my thoughts, trying to remember to swallow bites now and then.

Everyone gathered into the kitchen for lunch, but I couldn't get her voice out of my head. _I told ya, _it ranted, over and over again. Rose needs to get her shit together, if she keeps this attitude up, more people than just me will be pissed. Ever since Emmett got here, it's Emmett-this, Emmett-that, what about the rest of us? She could give a rat's ass about anything, and I think it bothers us all. Especially Bella, but she doesn't have the nerves to say anything. What the hell was that "Seattle" crap the other day? Real nice, Rose.

I left the living room with my rant still racing through my head, and headed to the kitchen. Esme had just plated up everyone's food, and the gang was sitting down at the grand dining room table to eat. I sat and stewed in my thoughts, trying to remember to swallow bites now and then.

**I hope you guys enjoyed it! Please please please, let us know what you think! thank you guys so so so much for your support with all of this! I probably should have read over this more than once but I'm rushing to get this posted before school lol**


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey guys! So sorry about the long wait... both CDM and I have busy lives and we try to squeeze this in but sometimes it ends up getting pushed aside for more important stuff unfortunately :( So, credit to CDM for being wonderful (haha) but also for the first half of this chapter, and for helping me out with Jasper's dialogue in my part some (she's better at him than I). Hope you guys enjoy :)**

**APOV(SCC)**

I had left in a rush with Charlotte, hoping that we would find Jasper soon. Rose was clearly a mess, and I knew Esme was trying to hold it together, but inside she must have been dying. That confrontation with Tom couldn't possibly have been good, obviously. I let my mind drift back to Rose, my poor baby. Rose needed all the support she could get right now, both physically and emotionally. She looked absolutely exhausted when she came running to me. Her normally pale white face and impeccable blonde hair had been thrown into a messy bun, with strands sticking to her soaked, blotchy, flushed cheeks. I haven't seen Rose in that much of a disaster since the night that we had the sleepover, and she was haunted by her past. I want to say that it was almost shocking that she came running into my arms, but I knew Rose so well, and I knew she was falling apart. Jasper was so important to her, and I knew she was worried sick. And it wasn't like Jasper to just run off, so the situation had to have been really frustrating for him.

Charlotte's calm voice snapped me back into reality when we were downtown, "So what's the plan, Ali?"

I paused for a minute before speaking, collecting my thoughts, "Um... I think it would be better if we split off. Only because it's still broad daylight so we'll be fine and we have better of a chance of running into him. Agree?"

"Yeah, for sure." Char replied, smiling. Her sweet voice kept me calm in my current state of distress, and I was able to think clearly as to what to do next.

"Okay, well... Why don't you hit the north part of town, and I can stay in this general vicinity. Then the area is divided pretty evenly, and Peter and Carlisle are the outskirts of town." I suggested, not really quite sure what to do, but speaking my best thoughts.

"Sounds great." Charlotte replied, "So I'll meet you back here in say, an hour and a half? And call me if anything changes?"

"Awesome." I said, smiling at her gently. I made sure my cell was tucked tightly in my back pocket before turning in the opposite direction and speed walking. Store after store passed by me as I sped by in a blur, the rest of the world not mattering at the moment. I checked quickly down every alley between buildings and peeked into stores, all to no avail. I walked past the doors to the town bar before backtracking and walking in. I didn't think much of it beforehand, but as I walked by, I had a funny nagging feeling about the bar. It was empty, the only noise coming from the football game in the background.

"You haven't by chance had a younger guy with a southern accent in here have you?" I asked impatiently, my smaller voice seeming loud in the quiet space. I knew that when Jasper was angry, he turned to cigarettes and drinking. A lot of men did. Not that I would know by experience.

"Uh, yeah actually. Earlier. Left about half an hour ago. Was about the only one here." The bartender said in a rough voice.

"Thanks so much." I turned sharply on my heels, leaving since I had my information I needed. Well, at least I know he has to be around here somewhere. I walked past the rest of the stores, knowing that they were all useless to Jasper unless there was a specific reason for him to go there. The downtown area now was becoming more rural, and the city park was in the middle of the two sides of the road, a few trees surrounding it on all sides. It was the connecter between the neighborhood and the end of the downtown borders.

I crossed the street and walked into the park before seeing a familiar build of someone in the distance, sitting on a bench.

"Jasper?" I asked, walking straight up to him, before he turned around to face me.

"Alice, what are you doing here?" He asked, his voice deep and his words combining together. Of course, drunker than a skunk. Go figure.

"What the fuck are you doing? You do realize you practically have a search party out looking for you? And not to mention Rose and Esme at home, worried sick about you.." I trailed off before actually noticing the look on his face.

"Look, I'm sorry. My dad showed up, and I couldn't handle it. So I left."

"And what do you plan on doing here, in the park, on a bench?" I asked.

"I wasn't going to come back. I was going to sleep here tonight." He slurred again.

"Oh, great plan." I replied sarcastically.

"I know you're mad at me," Jasper slurred. "I know deep down you blame me for all your problems with Rose. I bet they started when I showed up right?" He asked.

"No, I don't blame you for all of our problems. But the fact that sometimes she can't even talk to me about something is slightly concerning, and that's putting it in good terms." I replied honestly.

"Don't blame Rosie for my mistakes. She's just keeping promises, she's always been good at that. I'm not really gonna get into my fucked up life with you at the moment because I'm not drunk enough for that yet... I don't think. You just need to know I've done some things I'm not proud of and Rose has been through some things that she never should have been exposed to through me. And I'll never forgive myself for that." Jasper said, looking down at the grass below his feet.

"I know she is. It just hurts." I said simply, trying not to let myself get too emotional to Jasper.

"You want to know a secret though? You want to know something that puts the cherry on top of all of this shit? Well this shit being: me fucking up you two, fucking up myself and having my dad show up today?" He asked, anger beginning to form in his words.

I waited for him to continue as he took a deep breath. I could smell the beer when he exhaled, "I don't know if that's such a good idea.." I started.

"Just let me tell you," He said simply, "I was fucking walking home that night. I was taking my usual shortcut when I heard cries. I could hear her screaming for her fucking life. I was so consumed with rage I beat the mother fucker off of her and he stabbed me for it." He pulled up his shirt, showing me the light pink scar on his stomach,"It was so dark you could barely make out anything but I could tell she was half naked and broken. It was all I could do to make sure she was okay before the ambulance came... I left my statement and asked to be anonymous. I didn't want any of that coming back to me. I couldn't handle it." He let out another deep breath, before rubbing the back of his neck. I was silent, there was no way...

And then he answered my thoughts, without a doubt, "And what the fuck happens? I come here and you have a friend who got raped over the summer in Seattle in a dark alley. Is that a coincidence? I think not..."

"I... I don't know what to say.." I trailed off.

"You don't have to." He replied.

"But you...you were her savior." I tried to pick my words carefully, "Everything makes sense now. Everything falls into place." I said, trying to stop my head from spinning.

"No shit. Imagine my fucking surprise when I came to visit Rose, and the girl whose face was once glowing in red and blue lights, a second away from falling into subconsciousness, was now in the same space I was, a reoccurrence of the night I had tried to forget." Jasper's words were slurring together so bad that it took my immense concentration to understand what he was saying.

"I'm just so shocked.. I guess. But I'm eternally grateful that she had you, to save her, because I don't think anyone could have done it better than you did. Bella's recovered and is beginning to be more herself everyday, and although it took her a while to get here, I think that if she never had her savior, God, I wouldn't even want to think about where she would be now."

"I just thought I was done with that night, and now I see her gorgeous face everyday, the same one I tried so hard to forget, hoping she would turn out okay after that predicament." Jasper said. It was the first time I'd actually heard him voice something so full of emotions.

"And she did turn out okay, look at her now." I replied, "But look, Esme and Rose and Bella are all at home worried sick about you, and Char and Peter and Carlisle are all out searching for you; Jasper, you should come home. You can't just run away from your problems, literally. And you're so drunk.." I trailed off, hoping my words convinced him to come home.

"Why would I go there when fucking Tom created problems?" He retorted.

"Because, Jasper, everyone is looking for you, and it would be kinda nice for them to know that you're actually okay." I responded sarcastically.

"I guess. But hey." He said, grabbing my forearm when getting up from the bench and wobbling before getting his bearings, "You have to promise me that you won't say anything about me and Bella. I mean it" He said seriously.

"I won't. I know it's not my place." He let my arm go and started to walk behind me as I headed back to the car, calling Charlotte on the way. Jasper staggered behind me as I talked to her on the phone.

"Yeah, yeah no he's fine. Just drunk. Yep, okay. See you in ten minutes at the car." I hung up the phone with Char, grateful that she wasn't too pressing and I could just explain everything when we got back to the house.

**So anyways, thanks so much for reading, and please review, feedback is the best thing authors can get! Thanks for all your support :)**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hi guys! Here is CDM ****half of Chapter 11. I hope you enjoy it. Please let us know what you think. I hope you enjoy it. SCC has just started hers so give us some times :)**

**Chapter Eleven**

**JPOV(CDM)**

_"What the fuck are you doing here?"_

_"I want my son back! Everything will be different now, I've changed."_

_"Get the fuck out of here Tom. I'm not your son either. I'm my mother's fucking bastard."_

_"Jasper-"_

_"Don't. Don't even say my name. Get out of here before I kill you."_

When I woke up with cold sweats, I rushed down from the attic to the bathroom on the second floor. My head was spinning with a bad headache from too much Jack yesterday. I made it to the toilet in time to throw up the contents of my stomach, which wasn't much, and then I just sat on the bathroom floor.

_"We're just gonna go for a drive okay Baby?" my mom smiled, but I could see the tears in her eyes and hear the quiver in her voice._

_"Okay momma!" my small self agreed._

_Hand-in-hand at three in the morning, we snuck out of our shitty apartment and drove away in the hopes of never coming back. _That was the first time we tried to get away-but he found us. And he brainwashed her into coming home. Into going back to how it was before.

_"Momma loves you," _she would whisper to me when she was trying to put me to sleep after one of their fights._ "I love you so much Baby."_

In the dark against the cold white tile of the bathroom, I rested against the wall and let myself think of all the things I had been fighting out of my head.

_"Jasper! Rose! Let's go please!" mom called us from the pool, there was something different in her voice but of course I couldn't tell what it was at the time. Without a towel or changing of clothes we were in the backseat of her car as quick as possible but he showed up and shoved her against the car. He found us. _Again. _I told Rosalie to close her eyes and all the bad stuff would go away. I told her that I wouldn't let him hurt her and he didn't._

_Mom managed to get him away and she started driving. I don't even think she knew what she was doing but she was aware of him following us. The weather started getting back and she was too upset. I wish things would've happened differently._

_"I love you so much Baby,"_ I could hear my mother's sweet voice murmuring to me.

At this point I crumbled against the wall and sobbed silently to myself. I cried for her death, I cried for my childhood, I cried for Rose, I cried for Esme and I cried because of my anger. I hugged my knees to my chest as I sobbed. I could feel my shoulders shake and my throat ache from fighting back the noise so I wouldn't wake anyone.

Suddenly the door opened and Bella walked in. She didn't look startled to see me so I assumed she could hear me. I didn't move from where I was as she walked toward with shaky hands. She took a seat next to me on the floor and wrapped her arms around me, sort of pulling my body into hers.

"It's okay," she whispered. "He can't hurt you any more. He's gone."

Even though I didn't believe her, I took comfort in her words and just continued to cry into her until I could get a grip.

**BPOV(CDM)**

It was heartbreaking watching someone like Jasper, who seemed so strong, fall apart like this. I could never begin to understand what he has been through. After the brief explanation I got from Esme and Rose yesterday, I can understand he didn't have a nice childhood around his father. I hugged him close to my chest and rubbed the back of his neck and let my fingers play with his hair. My fingers were shaking the whole time and my heart wouldn't stop racing but I pushed every little fear out of my body because I knew that wasn't important right now. He was.

I heard him start to sniffle and I could tell he was done. He pulled himself back together and I could see in his eyes this wasn't going to happen again. The strength and conviction was something I envied because every night I fight the tears that haunt me, and I wished I could just make them stop.

"Are you okay?" I whispered.

He nodded. "Yes. Thank you."

I nodded and looked down at my hands. We were still sitting next to each other with my side touching his. This was the closest I had been to him since our almost kiss, and I couldn't help the butterflies in my stomach.

"Do you want to talk about it?" my voice quivered.

"No." he said almost sharply.

I bit my lip and continued to look in my lap. Then I heard him let out a heavy sigh.

"I'm sorry Bella. I… I didn't mean to sound so angry. I just don't like people seeing me like that…" I could hear the sincerity in his voice which made it seem better because he isn't one to apologize either.

"It's okay," I told him, this time looking into his blue eyes.

I watched his hands grip into fists. "No, it's not. Bella, I'm always so rude to you and you don't deserve it. I really don't mean to be… and the more I am the more I see myself like my dad. Like the fucker he is."

I put my hand over his fist and shook my head. "Jasper, you're not. You need to realize how amazing you are. You are so considerate and polite. I think you're one of the only people who really tries to take my feelings into consideration. I don't know who your dad is or what he has done but from Rose said… he seems like a horrible person and I know you. You could never be horrible. You just can't."

Jasper looked down to the ground and sighed. "Do you know what time it is?"

I shrugged. "It was three-thirty when I woke up."

"Would you like something to eat?" he asked. "I'm a bit hungover but surprisingly I'm starving."

I smiled slightly, "Sure I could eat something."

He stood and held out his hand to help me up. I took it gladly. I watched him look down at his black jeans and sigh. "I just passed out, didn't I?"

"I don't really know," I told him. "I was with Rose in the kitchen when you came home. Alice found you and brought you back here. Peter helped you in the house and you didn't say much, except-"

I stopped short because I knew if he couldn't remember he would feel bad about being reminded of it.

"I said something to Esme… I remember saying something to her. I'm pretty sure it was horrible…" he murmured.

I nodded. "You told Esme that it was her fault Tom showed up and caused problems. And you told her that you should never have come here...She knows you didn't mean it though."

Jasper was quiet for a minute. "I did mean it. At the time I did… I'll need to talk to her later today… That was horrible to say."

"She loves you, she'll forgive you… Anyway Peter took you upstairs and we didn't hear anything after that. He came down an hour later though. So you two must've talked about something."

Jasper nodded as we walked down the stairs. "He remembered to help me out my shirt which I'm grateful for."

He must've noticed my quizzical look because he semi smiled rubbed his chest. "Sleeping in shirts reminds me of being in hospitals, the way they stick to me in my sleep. They feel like grimy bedsheets and thin hospital gowns."

After I thought about it, I understood what he meant. I nodded, "he's your best friend. He must know all those little things."

"Peter and I go way back," Jasper said as he turned the lights on in the kitchen. "I'm gonna grab a change of clothes from the laundry room, I'll be right back."

"Okay," I agreed.

I went to cupboard quickly while he was gone and grabbed a tylenol for him and glass of water, before I went and sat down on one of the bar stools. When he emerged from the laundry room he was dressed in sweatpants that rested low on his hips and nothing else. In the light I could see him much better, I could see his sculpted muscular chest and I noticed a long pink scar across his torso, that didn't look that old.

"Sorry… I'm over heating…" he said as he looked down at the water and pills. "Is this for me?"

I nodded quietly. "I thought you probably have a bad headache. I thought it might help."

"Thank you," he smiled slightly. "I don't normally drink that much…"

"Some people need help finding an escape."

He chuckled surprisingly. "I don't think I've ever met someone quite like you."

I couldn't help the faint blush that rose to my cheeks at the slight compliment. "What's for breakfast?" I smiled in response.

"I can cook anything you like," Jasper said. "I used to work at a diner, close to Peter's house in Seattle when I was sixteen. I thought it was a good time to learn how to cook."

"Well then," I teased. "Can I have two eggs over easy with toast?"

"Not much of a sweet tooth?" he asked as he went to the fridge.

"Not in the morning," I told him as I watched him retrieve eggs and bread. Jasper reached down and grabbed a frying pan and as he stood back up and lit the stove, I saw them. His scars. They covered his back, little pink and white three inch scars. I couldn't help the gasp that came out of my mouth because they looked so painful.

"They aren't pretty are they," he commented. He must've heard me. "Don't worry they weren't all from my dad. The smaller ones are from the car accident."

As he said this, he turned to face me so they were out of sight. I looked down at the counter before looking at him. "I didn't mean to gasp… It's just… I never would've expected you to have something like that."

"It's okay, I'm used to it." He said.

"I didn't know you were in a car accident…" I stuttered.

He actually looked a little surprised to hear me say that. "Rose never told you guys?"

"If something ever involved you, we didn't know about it. I mean we knew you meant the world to her but we never understood why because we barely knew anything about you. She is very secretive...about you."

Jasper smiled to himself as he crossed his arms over his chest but it fell to a frown. "As appreciative as I am for that, I know how many problems that has caused for her with Ali."

I nodded. "Ali doesn't mean to be so horrible to Rose about all of that, but she really loves her. I mean Ali has always had a little thing for Rose even before… She doesn't blame you or Rose. She's just so caring and when she can't help, it frustrates her."

"Rosie understands my privacy. I mean when I was eight I was in and out of therapy when my mom died. I hated people asking me questions and knowing my business. She was too for a while. Esme put her in it, she hated it. That's why Rose refused to go after the rape. She knew it wouldn't help with anything." Jasper told me. "You said over easy right?"

I nodded. "Yes, I did… I didn't like it either. Having to talk to strangers about my problems… I hated it. I tried talking to Rose but I was scared it hurt her and I knew Ali never really knew what to say, so I just started keeping a diary. I find it easier to write it down because I can barely talk anyway sometimes."

"You've gotten a lot better though," Jasper said as he cracked the eggs into a pan. "You barely liked talking to me when I met you."

I watched him go over to the toaster with the bread and put in four slices. I got out of my chair and went to the fridge to grab some juice. I didn't know what to say any more. I could tell Jasper wanted to talk and all I wanted to do was listen because I didn't know if what I said upset him or not. He's so cryptic and yet open, it must be hard for him.

"I'm sorry," he said. "About everything, and this morning. I'm really ruining everything."

"You're not. Seriously this place was going to hell long before you got here."

"In either case, I made it worse." He told me as he set my plate of eggs and toast in front of me. "Would you like ketchup and butter?"

"Yes, please." I smiled lightly.

He followed suit with his breakfast before taking a seat next to me. "Is it okay?"

"It's great," I smiled. "Thank you ."

"You're welcome," he nodded.

"Is… is that how your mom died?" I asked. "The car accident?"

He nodded, "Yeah. There was a storm and we hit a semi, which sent us into a ditch. Doctors told me she died on impact. Rose would've been crippled if I hadn't pulled her to me when it happened. I blame my dad but of course it's stupid. We were running away from him when it happened. My mom loved my dad for some reason even though he was monster. We had been away from him for a couple months and Rose and I were at the pool at our apartments. He showed up and mom panicked. Thats why my scars are so bad. I was shirtless and landed on all the shattered glass."

I reached out hesitantly and placed my hand on his warm shoulder. I felt his eyes on me as my fingers moved down his back, feeling some of the bumps. My hands were shaking as I pulled away and looked him in the eye. "I'm sorry about your mom."

"Thank you," he whispered.

Then we ate our breakfast in silence. It was comfortable, not awkward like usual, and I realized how much I missed it. Silence isn't something I got often and when I did it wasn't peaceful. It was terrifying. When we were done, Jasper did the dishes quickly and retrieved a shirt.

"It's only five thirty, do you want to watch a movie? Or go back to sleep?" he asked me.

I smiled. "We can watch a movie, but I might fall asleep."

"That's fine with me," he chuckled. "I feel bad about keeping you up."

"Don't worry about it."

**JPOV(CDM)**

Bella picked Taxi to watch with Jimmy Fallon, which was fine by me. I think a comedy was more suitable than anything for a distraction. We took the love seat in front of the TV and Bella sat with her back against the arm rest and her knees bent, attempting to stretch her legs without touching me. She started to giggle right away and I couldn't fight the smile that came to my lips at the sound.

Blindly watch the movie I couldn't help but think about what I just did this morning. I can't believe I told her all of that. I don't know what got into me, I have never felt so compelled to tell anyone any of that. It frustrates me that she found me this morning and that I just gave in like that. I'm supposed to be strong than that. I shouldn't have to act like that. It's all in the past, it happened and I can't do anything about it.

I felt Bella looking at me so turned my head and forced a smile. "You okay?" I asked.

She nodded, "Are you?"

"I'm getting there," I nodded.

She nodded again and went back to watching the movie. Eventually she fell asleep and I pulled her legs into my lap carefully, so she wasn't curled up in a ball. I covered her with a blanket so she wouldn't get cold and just rested my head back. _She's nothing to me, she isn't important. She doesn't need to know anymore. Don't screw this up any more than you have. She's just a little girl who's scared shitless. _I kept telling myself, trying to get her out of my system but deep in my heart I knew everything I was thinking was a lie. Somehow she has become something important to me, and I care so much about her. If someone so much as gave her a bad look, I think I'd kill them.

I looked down at her sleeping face and just prayed that she would have a better life than what was given to her so far. She was an angel sent from God who was damaged by the devil. After a couple minutes, I heard Ali and Rose coming down the stairs and I'm sure this looked a little strange.

**Sorry for all the mistakes I missed! Please review and let us know what you think. Thank you so much for reading and putting up with us.**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey guys! Sorry about the wait, I've had too many tests this week to think straight (Sorry I suck!) Anyways thanks to CDM for writing the first part of this already posted and for being my beta and my best friend (all in one! you rock chica) hope you all enjoy, and review please if you have time :)**

**Chapter Eleven**

**APOV**

I woke up to the sun shining through the window. I had slept over with Rose and Bella because of yesterday, what a mess that was. Jasper had spilled everything to me, and I was shocked. It still hadn't sunk in yet, my head could spin thinking about it. The odds of everything happening how it did was so slim, yet that was the outcome.

I decided it was time to get up, my internal clock had told me it wasn't early since the sun was out, but there was still part of the morning left. I rolled over, careful not to disturb Rose, and uncovered myself. Bella had to already have been up, her space next to Rose unoccupied. She was always an early riser anyways.

The air felt cool in the bedroom compared to the warmth of the bed and Rose sleeping next to me, which forced me to run into the bathroom that was adjoining to our bedroom to get ready. I quickly brushed my teeth and ran my fingers through my short, messy black hair before walking back to the bedroom and into the closet to find a sweatshirt. I turned back to face the bed and saw Rosie shifting in her sleep, before opening her eyes slowly.

"Good morning." I said, coming back to sit on the edge of the bed, "How'd ya sleep?"

"I slept good. I'm still tired through. How about you?" she replied sleepily, rubbing her beautiful brown eyes.

"I'm good." I told her, leaning over to brush the hair off her face.

"How long have you been up?" She asked, yawning.

"Just a few minutes." I replied.

"That's good. Where's Bella?"

"I don't know, I'm assuming she's already up and about. I haven't seen her this morning, she must have been pretty quiet."

"Oh okay." Rosie sat up, "Hey, I wanted to talk to you... about yesterday."

"Okay...what about it?" I replied back. I felt my heart beating out of my chest, I hate when she does that. It's like a cliffhanger at the end of a great book.

"Oh, don't make that face, it's nothing bad. I just want to talk to you. To help you understand." Rose said. I crinkled my nose. I was surprised at her words, but I knew that something would come up about it between us eventually. Jasper was too important for Rose for it to not.

"I'm sure he told you why he rushed out of here yesterday as soon as Tom showed up." She continued.

"Yeah, he just told me that he couldn't deal with everything going on here and needed to get out." I said, scooching over closer to her on the bed. I could tell what she was going to say was serious because of her mannerisms.

"I'm sorry Ali." She said after a pause, "You know it's hard for me to talk about Jasper." I took her hand in mine to let her know I understood and that I was there for her.

"No worries, Rosie." She blushed at me calling her by her nickname. Ever since yesterday I could tell things were different between us, and for the first time in a while, it was for the better. The thought made my heart beat faster, my sun seem brighter, my world spin faster. Rose needed someone to ground her and to understand her, and I was always desperately trying to make her see it was me. I hoped that yesterday made her realize that, and maybe it could change things between us.

"Well... I guess I can start by saying that things were sometimes pretty bad with Jasper's childhood. That's why I don't mention much, and neither does he for the most part. But Jasper's business is his, and I won't ever tell anyone that. I made a promise, one that will be kept forever." Rose's small voice was shaky, her hand slightly quivering in mine. I squeezed it tight, my fingers entwined with hers, waiting for her to continue. I could see the glisten in her eyes, the tears behind the mask.

"A lot of times I was with him and his mom, and words can't describe how much hatred there was for his father. Every time Tom would show up, it would cause complete chaos. His mom would try to stay calm for Jasper and I and not panic, and he would try to calm me down while we tried to get away from that bastard. Every time was a near escape, until his mom couldn't escape anymore, she ended up dying in a car accident, with Jasper and I in the backseat." Rose left it at that, and I knew that she wasn't going to talk about that anymore.

"I'm so sorry, Rose." I said simply.

"Don't be, it isn't your fault. But know that I don't mean to keep this stuff from you, we just don't bring it up because I promised not to. It's not a good memory for anyone, and if scars weren't reminders and nightmares, the memories would be forgotten in the dust." She wiped a tear from her cheek gently as I got up to get a tissue for her.

I came back and sat down lightly on the bed, handing her the tissue and putting my hand on her knee.

"I'm really sorry, Rosie. I... I had no idea. I just wish you would have told me that before so that I could better understand, but I get why you didn't." Rose wiped the already smeared mascara off her cheeks.

"I'm still sorry though Ali, I know it hurts you when I do this, and I know I've messed up. I'm not saying it's right, just know that there's a reason, and I don't mean to hide stuff like that from you." Rose said, placing her hand over mine and squeezing it, "And I really miss you." she continued. I immediately looked up at her pure brown eyes, watching as they glistened over again.

"You miss me?" I fake sniffled.

"Of course I miss you, loser!" She really did sniff, then laughed, "You've helped me through so much, and I could have never made it without you." She paused for a minute, "How could I not miss you, Alice? You're my world." My eyes now actually did start to tear up at her words, God how I missed my baby so much. Great, now the tough guy is crying too. I chuckled at myself and Rose soon joined in.

"I miss you too, baby. You don't even know." I replied. Rose leaned over to kiss me, like she always had, and it was then that I realized how long it had seemed since I last kissed her like this. Affection, desire, love all coming through, everything she couldn't put into words.

Rose then pulled back, "Please take me back baby. I can't stand to be without you any longer."

This time I kissed her, and loved feeling the warmth of her beautiful lips against mine again.

"I'll never let you go again." I said once we had broken away to breathe, "Now come on my Rosie, we have to go find Bella, she's been MIA for a while now." Rose smiled huge, something I hadn't seen any of in the last few days. We linked hands, her fingers entwining with mine, and started down the stairs. I planted a kiss on her cheek when we reached the foot of the stairs, and then we took a few steps to the general vicinity of the living room. The TV was at a low volume, and Jasper was sitting on the couch with Bella next to him.

Rose walked up to the couch and I followed, "What's wrong with-" Jasper cut Rosie off by shushing her. I took a closer look and noticed Bella was fast asleep on the couch, I now saw what Rose was talking about. Bella? Sleeping next to Jasper? I didn't know what to think about that, only that I was shocked. Bella was still warming up to Jasper, to everyone for that matter. I couldn't believe she was actually comfortable enough for that.

"Why is she sleeping?" Rose asked Jasper.

"Well, I assume because she was tired." I laughed at Jasper's smart ass response, "She was up early so I made her breakfast and we decided to watch a movie and then she just crashed." He explained in a serious tone this time.

Just then Esme walked in the room, "Good morning girls, Jasper." She said in her light tone as she saw Bella on the couch. Her face showed nothing resembling anger to Jasper, which made me sigh in relief. I knew how bad Jasper felt about that.

"Jasper, can I talk to you for a minute?" Esme asked sweetly.

"Sure, Esme." He got up willingly, but careful not to disturb Bella too much. He walked out of the room and Esme followed carefully behind him until they reached the kitchen and I could no longer hear their whispers.

I looked back at Bella, who must have been woken up by Jasper and Esme, because she was now slightly turning on the couch before gently opening her eyes.

"Morning, Bella" Rose said, smiling at her.

"Morning guys." She rubbed her eyes before sitting up on the couch, in which Rose and I took the opportunity to sit down next to her.

"Where ya been?" I asked her.

"Oh, well I heard Jasper this morning in the bathroom and so I just figured I would get up. And no one else was around, so I just was in the kitchen with Jasper and he offered to make me breakfast. He's an awesome cook. And then we just watched a movie... or he did. I fell asleep quick." She explained. Well, her story sounded identical to Jasper's at least.

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	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys! Sorry it has taken CDM and I so long to post, she had finals in school last week and I just procrastinate a lot. :S So I'm really sorry. Anyhoo, the next chapter should be up soon, and we hope that you enjoy this chapter! :)**

**Chapter Twelve**

**JPOV (CDM)**

I was sitting on the porch with a cigarette in hand, trying to relax. It's been two weeks since Tom showed up and things were getting better. After Esme and I had a long talk, a lot of stuff got easier. I apologized for everything I said, and explained why I was so angry even though I knew she already understood. Esme, in return, apologized even though I told she didn't need to. The house felt lighter after that, especially since Ali and Rose made up.

I sat back in one of the nice wicker chairs and took a long drag. Damn it felt good, Rose has been monitoring me. She keeps trying to get me to quit, and I probably should; not that I would tell her that. I heard the back door open and I sighed, so much for finishing a smoke. Thinking it was Rose, I sat up and braced myself for another rant but to my surprise it was Alice. She looked stressed and when I went to put my cigarette out she shook her head and took it from me.

"Don't tell Rose," she mumbled before taking a long drag.

I just stared at her momentarily until she sat on the coffee table in front of me. She exhaled and handed it back. "Okay, that's better."

I nodded, "Is everything okay?" My tone was hesitant, since I have never seen her act like this before.

She stared down at her feet for a while before she looked up at me. "Jasper, I can't do this. It's eating me alive. I don't know how you can handle this."

I looked at her for a moment and took another long drag. "Shit, Alice. You can't. I'm sorry I told you. I was drunk. I don't know what I was thinking."

She stood up quickly, she no longer appeared stress. She was mad, frustrated with me.

"Damn it Jasper! You need to tell her," she hissed. "I can't keep lying, or keeping secrets. I look at her and I look at you and I can't do it. She needs to know. She deserves the truth. You're her friend, why are you so scared?"

"You think I like keeping all these secrets? I hate it but this is something that shouldn't be shared. She deserves to be happy not haunted. Don't you see what it does to Rosalie when she's with Emmett? It ruins her. I don't want to do that to Bella. And I am not scared," I told her.

"Everyone is different. Bella isn't Rose. If you're not scared then man up. You're being an asshole keeping it to yourself. It's not just hurting you."

This time I stood up and towered over her. I was mad, I didn't need nor want this right now. She was glaring at me but when she stared up at my face, I saw her glare falter. I flicked my smoke to the ground and put it out with my Doc.

"Fuck this. Alice, you want some truth? I like her, and I don't mean like a friend. I'm fucking falling in love with her. Excuse me for being selfish for once in my fucking terrible life. Excuse me for actually _enjoying_ someone's presence who isn't family to me. I'd like to say I wish I could take that night back, but you know what? If I hadn't been there, Bella wouldn't be here right now. She might not have even been _alive_. He wasn't like Royce. He wasn't a drunk party boy. He was a disgusting monster who did that out of sick pleasure. Saying no. Turned. Him. On."

By this point, I watched Alice's eyes begin to water.

"Imagine, just for a second, that you're her. That every night you cry yourself to sleep because of the monster in the dark. Imagine that anyone that barely bumps into is going to take you away from this place. Imagine seeing the one person who knows what happen to you in detail every day, and that you never explained to this person what happened. That they just found you like that. That person is a permanent reminder of what happened. You try to forget and wish it were a nightmare but now it's always in your face. The bruises are gone but your skin is permanently dirty by a creep."

"Stop it," she whispered, her voice shaking.

"I'm a terrible selfish human being," I said. "I'm not scared. I'm mad. I'm mad that I hadn't met her some other way, that for the rest of my life I won't just be Rose's cousin anymore if I tell her. I'll be the guy that saved her from her rape. I will always have a dark connotation about it, if I didn't already."

Alice opened her mouth a few times, but nothing came out. Her tears spilled out of her eyes and down her cheeks. I couldn't handle it anymore.

"You're right about one thing. I am an asshole. I'm sorry for making you cry."

Then I walked back into the house and went straight to my room.

Sitting at my piano, I brought my hands to my head and grabbed fists full of my hair. I can't believe I did that. Maybe I'm the one being a monster.

**APOV(SCC)**

I sat down on the porch steps, pulling my knees to my chest. The tears were flowing freely down my cheeks, and I didn't dare try to stop them. I buried my face in my hands and cried until there was nothing left. The tears stopped, but my body still shook with anger and sadness. Everything is so fucked up. I am so angry at Jasper, words can't even say how much. How the fuck did he go all this time knowing the truth, but never saying anything?

I can't let that go, because for the last few weeks it has torn me apart inside, seeing Bella's face everyday and looking her in the eyes, pretending like I knew nothing. I have no clue how he did that. And the one time he does actually say something to someone, he's drunk. He wasn't even in his right mindset, which means normally he still wouldn't have said anything to me by now if Tom hadn't shown up. All this time that he hasn't said anything it has hurt both him and Bella.

I know she would be so different if she knew the truth, I just know it. Jasper was wrong, and I wasn't afraid to tell him so. I know Bella is different than Rose, and I believe she would react differently to knowing her savior. I see the reality of it, I see how Rose is when she breaks down. I just have this feeling Bella would be different. More than I was mad at Jasper, I was angry at myself. I was beginning to regret everything I had said, as much as it tore me apart inside. I was glad that I said what had been eating me alive for weeks now, but his words he said to me only minutes previous to now had pierced through me like a knife.

Even though I was mad at him for everything he has done, or hasn't done, I am more pissed at myself for not seeing his side of this. Maybe that's why his words hurt so much. His words, spilling out with hurt and anger, were like jabbing needles in my skin. I was aware he had a bad past, Rose's words explaining what she could to me still were fresh in my mind from the weeks previous. I knew Jasper liked Bella, but I never knew that he was in love with her, for god's sake.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized how hard it must be for him, loving someone who wasn't part of his family, part of his horrible past, and not being able to change the fucked up situation we were in now.

I wish I could go back in time.

I wish I could change what I said.

I wish I could change everything. But I can't. I can't undo anything from the past, life's not a Microsoft Word document.

I finally got up after what seemed like a lifetime of sitting and thinking, and decided to pick myself up. It wasn't late in the day, not even noon if I were to guess by the sun.

I opened the door from the patio going into the house, and wiped my face and ran my fingers through my short black hair to make sure I didn't look disheveled.

"Good morning, Alice. Where ya been?" Esme asked in the kitchen as I passed through.

I stopped and forced out a convincing enough smile, "Just been out on the porch getting some fresh air."

"Okay sweetie. You're alright, right? Everything okay with you and Rose?" she asked in a quiet voice.

"Yeah, I'm fine. We're good." I reassured her, trying to reassure myself at the same time. I walked up the stairs, seeing Rose with Charlotte and Peter in the living room, mindlessly watching TV. I almost literally ran into the person I needed to see the most. Jasper had just came down his attic stairs from his room, and I immediately connected my eyes with his.

"Jasper.." I started off, before my voice became thin and inaudible. He pulled me to the guest bedroom, where no one else could hear us.

"Alice, I'm really sorry, for everything. Especially for making you cry. I was wrong to do that, and I feel awful. You have no idea how much. I've given a lot of thought to what you've said, and I'm going to tell her now."

"What? No! Jasper! Shit!" I rambled on, trying to digest his words, "You can't do that. I don't know what I was thinking this morning, telling you that. And I-"

Jasper cut me off, "No, you were right, she deserves to know. That's the least I can give her, if I haven't already fucked everything up further by not telling her before." He swiftly walked out of the room at a fast pace, I had to take three steps for every one of his strides to keep up and try to stop him as he walked down the hallway, about to make a big mistake.

"Jasper!" I whispered, before he stopped at the girls' and I's bedroom, knocking at the door. He ignored me, and when Bella shouted a "Yeah?" from inside, he still pretended I wasn't there.

"I need to talk to you, Bella." He said through the door. I backed away from the door, there was nothing else for me to do. She opened it quickly, a towel wrapped around her hair from taking a shower.

"Okay... come on in." She stood at the doorway, and I reached up to pull on my hair, sinking myself down against the wall until I was sitting on the carpet. The click of the latch on the door startled me, and I knew there was no going back now. This is all my fucking fault, if I only would have shut my fucking mouth for once.

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	15. Chapter 15

**Hey guys! This is the last chapter before the epilogue! Can you believe it? :) anyways thanks for taking the time to read and please review! Happy New Year to everyone :)**

**Chapter Thirteen**

**BPOV(CDM)**

I pulled my hair out of my towel as Jasper shut the door, and I felt the air in the room change. It felt heavy and serious, and I could tell this wasn't something about Peter and Charlotte leaving tomorrow. I took a seat on the bed and looked up at Jasper who was rubbing the back of his neck.

"Is everything okay?" I asked.

"Bella there is something I need to tell you," Jasper started in a very serious tone. The same tone in which he told me about the accident. I nodded, my heart beating a mile a minute. He voice almost quivered as he went on.

"I..." he hesitated. "I've been living with Peter since my sophomore year before I dropped out of high school. And then I started working nights at a nice restaurant in Seattle. It was late when I'd start coming home. Over the summer my boss let me leave earlier than usual and one night, taking my usual shortcut home, I could hear screaming in the dark."

Oh my God… he looked up from the ground and those haunted blue eyes stared back at my brown ones. It can't be… It can't. I told myself I was being stupid. I'm dreaming, that must be it. I must be having some twisted dream again. He continued, "A girl was screaming and crying for her life. For her virtue. And when I got closer I saw a man on top of her."

He stopped like the image was too much for him to picture. In the moment, in his pause, both of us could see the alley, could smell the garbage stench.

His voice broke as he spoke again. "Bella, I wish I could've been there ten minutes earlier. Things would've been different for you. I... I was the guy who ripped him off you. I panicked when the cops came and I couldn't stand the thought of what happened to you. I left a statement and asked for anonymity. I didn't want to be tied to that. I had had enough with Rose and I didn't want to watch another girl go through that. I didn't want thanks. I didn't want anything.

'Then I came here and met you and I realized how perfect you were. You became my friend and I couldn't stand the thought of losing that so I didn't tell anyone and I hoped you didn't recognize me. But I know that you deserve the truth and so I'm telling you because I need to stop being so selfish and I can't stand keeping anymore secrets."

My heart was racing and I didn't know what to say. I didn't know what to think. I was practically hyperventilating. I opened my mouth to speak but nothing came out. I pulled my knees to my chest and shook my head. This can't be happening…

"I… you?" was all that came out. Wow Bella, he's fucking waiting for something more than that. I watched him pull up his shirt and show me the fresh scar I had noticed the other day.

"If you needed further proof," he said before covering it again.

I waited a moment and let it all sink in. The tears fell down my face freely and my body shook with sadness and anger. I was mad at him for not telling me but I knew why he didn't. He shared with me his hatred for Emmett and I understood why but I felt betrayed. He was so honest with me two weeks ago and now I learn he had bigger secrets.

"How could you keep something like that from me?" I whispered. "I didn't deserve to know?"

He kneeled in front of me. "Bella, I am so sorry. I really am. It was killing me to keep it from you but I was being selfish. I'm telling you now because I know you deserve it. You deserve so much and I'm sorry for all of it."

"Thank you," I whispered. "Don't say you don't want it. You've told me that before… you told me that the first time I ever said it to you… after… it happened."

He let out a deep breath and I felt him embraced me lightly. I hugged him closer as I cried into his chest. I felt his face go to my hair and he took a deep breath before he pulled away after placing a small kiss on my forehead.

"I'm going back to Seattle tomorrow with Peter and Char," he told me. "Esme already knows I'm going and she understands that there's too much going on here."

"You're leaving because of me," I said.

"More because of myself," he replied. "I'm sorry Bella, for everything."

I watched him walk to the door and I spoke suddenly, "Who knows?"

He stopped for a second at the door, without looking at me. "Ali knows and Peter and Char. That's it. It's up to you whether you want to tell anyone else."

Then he left without looking back. Jasper Whitlock, my savior, the guy I wanted to meet since the moment I woke up in the hospital had been with me the whole time and I never knew it. Did I think it? Yes, but I thought I was just crazy. I closed my eyes and I was back in the alley. The smell of garage and rot, I could feel the sticky pavement under my palms and the ache on my arms appeared with a firm grip. The most vivid thing though was his voice, Jasper's. His voice telling me I was safe. And in my nightmares that made all the difference.

I met him and now he's leaving, and I doubt I'll be seeing him again any time soon after he leaves for Seattle. He doesn't want to see me, and that's what it comes down to.

**APOV(SCC)**

I stood in the hallway of the second floor, knowing what was probably going on in the bedroom at the end of the hall, and not being able to do a single thing about it. There was nothing I could say or do, nothing anyone could say or do, that would change a damn thing. It is what it is, I told myself, pacing back and forth.

The door at the end of the hallway suddenly opened, and Jasper came walking out at a brisk pace. To an outsider, I'm sure his face looked still as stone. To an outsider, I'm sure it just looked like nothing. But I knew fucking better. I could see every emotion he was hiding behind the mask, and I wasn't sure if it was for his own sake or for Bella's. I knew he would tell himself it was the latter, over and over again, but I also knew the truth. Deep down, Jasper was so hurt, so pained. And to me, his face was like a window pane. Completely see through, but impossible to get through to.

"Jasper?" I asked as he walked past me. He stopped for a minute and turned back, but his eyes failed to meet mine.

"Alice... I'm really sorry. For everything. For what that's worth." His words didn't fall into place to form a sentence, they just hung in the air. They brought on a chilled, stale feeling, like ice cream that's been in the freezer for a few too many months. I wanted to spit it out, the words made me sick with a new wave of anger at myself. Instead of just standing there, I walked to the bedroom, where Bella was sitting on the bed, sobbing.

She looked up at me through her wet eyelashes, "Ali..." She babbled quietly. Her face was pained, and her small body was shaking from the hurt.

"Aw, baby... come here." I rushed over to sit next to her, and pulled her into my lap. I held her for a while, silent, as she just cried in my arms. I was going to hold her until she could hold herself again. I wondered when that would be, she was so broken. She sniffled and pulled herself up to a sitting position.

"Ali, he doesn't want me. He doesn't want to see me anymore. He's left, and it's all because of me. Everything is my fault." Bella said, her speech forming together from her sobbing throughout it. I doubt that anyone else would be able to understand her.

"Bella, no. Don't say that. Don't tell yourself that. What happened was not your fault. None of it. So don't even think about blaming yourself, you did absolutely nothing wrong." I squeezed her hand which was now in mine.

"But, he's leaving tomorrow. And not coming back. And he chose to wait to tell me until just now." She cried.

"You know why? Because I told him not to keep it from you anymore. I didn't think it was fair, and I knew it was hurting you that you didn't know who saved you. Once I talked to him, I regretted it because I realized how awful it must have been for him as well. I didn't even consider it until afterwards. But Bella, he likes you so much. He cares about you so much. He thought it would do more damage for you than good, but I know that you are different from Rosie." I explained to her. Her crying started to slow, which made me happy.

"You really think he cares about me?" Bella asked me.

"I know he does. Why else would he plan everything out to tell you and be careful in the mean time? He only wanted the best for you, and for a while, he thought that meant not telling you." As I reassured her, I wish I would have seen this view point earlier.

"I guess you're right. You know what's crazy?" she asked again.

"What?"

"I knew it, Ali. I fucking knew it. And I doubted myself, but I had this funny feeling about him ever since the day I met him." I think my jaw dropped.

"What?" I asked, confused.

"I knew it. I knew his voice. It was all too familiar. I thought maybe I was losing my mind though, so I never said anything about it." I was totally speechless after she said this, "I'm so glad I know now, finally. It's him. It's Jasper. But now, now he will be gone. My savior, the one I owe everything to, who I care about, he's gone." Bella said, and went silent after that.

**Thanks for reading :) we hope you enjoyed!**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hi guys! Here's the epilogue we hope you enjoy. A huge thanks to CDM for pushing me to write this with her, I'm so glad I did and I'm going to miss it terribly :( But thank you all for taking the time to read! **

**Epilogue **

_December_

**APOV(SCC)**

"Yeah, I'll be there in five. You better be up when I get there!" I waited for a minute at her response, "Yes, I love you too, baby." I hung up the phone with Rose, smiling to myself in the car on the way home from the grocery store. I had to pick up things for lunch; since I was up early this morning, I figured I would save Esme a trip. Everyone in choir had the day off of school to ready themselves for the huge Holiday concert tonight, and Esme was going to cook lunch for us before we spent the whole afternoon getting ready. It was a huge deal, our biggest concert of the year. I was already dreading wearing a dress. The thought made me shiver as I pulled up into the driveway, that was covered in a thin layer of ice from the previous night. I almost slipped and caught myself on the back of the car before grabbing the groceries in the back, and trudging in the house.

There was an unusual quietness that went throughout the Cullen household, and I knew it wasn't because of the December chill in the air. Everything went to normal for the most part after the gang left, but the one person who I knew wasn't the same was Bella. Although she had overcome her usual shyness and was better at meeting and being with new people, I knew something inside her had changed when Jasper took off. I knew he did everything that he did because he thought it was for the better. On the other hand, he never saw the nights that Bella cried, wishing he was there with her still, wishing he hadn't just left. Rose and I were on "get Bella herself" duty; as her best friends it was our unspoken job. Not a glance or word was ever exchanged between Rose and I about Bella, we knew that Jasper leaving tore her up inside, and Rose and I did everything we could to make it better. Fortunately, Bella did come around again, and I feel like she hasn't been this happy since her rape. I also knew that Bella missed Jasper so much deep inside, and nothing Rose and I did could ever heal that.

As well as Bella, Rose and I's relationship had improved so much, and I was so grateful to wake up every morning next to her. I was that lucky to be able to have such an angel all to myself, one that I had the beautiful honor of calling my girlfriend.

"Need any help?" Bella asked, taking a few of the plastic bags that were hooked around every body part except for maybe my eyebrows.

"Thanks Bella." I laughed.

"Yep!"

"You girls can just set those on the counter, everything I'll be using for lunch for the most part anyways, and I'm going to start cooking now." Esme told us.

"Thanks Esme." We said in unison, before ascending up the stairs to get Rose's lazy ass out of bed. It was noon, time to get up. Bella went into the bathroom to shower and I went over the bed, waiting for a minute before I pounced on top of Rose, who was evidently lost under a massive duvet.

"What are you doing silly? I told you to get your beautiful ass up already." I played with her, tickling her in her side until she turned over.

"Fine fine! I surrender! White flag!" She yelled, laughing in between her words.

"That's what I thought." I said, grinning at her.

I gave Rose and Bella a bit to get ready while I went down and helped Esme get lunch together. Carlisle was at work like usual, which left only us around the house.

Lunch was filled with excitement in the air, I could tell Esme was so thrilled to see us all in concert tonight. Maybe even more excited than us, but who could blame her. She loved to see us all shine, choir was the one thing that brought us all together.

"Will you stop moving? You and Bella are killing me!" Rose whined, doing my makeup shortly after finishing Bella's hair and makeup.

"Ugh. This is torture. I hate makeup." I snapped back.

"I know it's not your thing. But can you please at least be good? For me?" She begged.

"Fine." I gave in, letting her make me into something I wasn't the other 364 days of the year normally.

"Come on, have some enthusiasm, will you? Esme's really excited, and so are Rose and I." Bella said, smiling.

"I never said I wasn't excited, I just hate this." I replied.

"Okay. I think you're done." Rose said after a minute, and took a step back before examining her work of art, "Yep. You're done."

"Thank heavens." I got up off the bed.

"Now for dresses!" Rose ran to the closet, grabbing the dresses out and handing one to both Bella and I before putting her own on.

"Kill me now." I said, sliding the silky fabric up my legs after undressing.

"Oh stop" Bella said, grinning at me.

"Hey! Quiet little one!" I said, laughing back at her.

Rose zipped her dress up her back, before returning back to the bathroom.

"Oh Rose, what are you going to do with this face?" Rose asked herself, staring in the mirror.

"Seriously, Rosie? You're so beautiful." I said, kissing her on her neck when she fastened her necklace. She did her makeup within a few minutes, before we all grabbed our heels and headed out the door with Esme and Carlisle, who had just arrived moments before our depart.

I walked into the auditorium with Rose and Bella, while everyone in the class scurried around to do last minute makeup touch ups and exchanging flats for heels. Rose went to the bathroom to do whatever she deemed necessary to her face, which left just Bella and I.

I smiled at her, "You okay?"

She let a shaky breath out before responding, "Yeah, I'm just really nervous."

"Oh Bella, don't be nervous. You're going to do great up there, I promise. Let everyone hear your beautiful voice and see your beautiful self." I took her hand and squeezed it, "You're going to do wonderful. Don't worry about a thing."

"You think?" She asked, looking worried.

"I don't think, I know." I reassured her, "You can do this. You'll be brilliant and beautiful."

"Thanks, Ali." She leaned over to hug me before pulling away. Rose came back a minute later, and we all got settled into our choir spots on the bleachers. The red velvet curtains pulled back to show our gleaming faces to the audience, and before I knew it, the lights were shining bright on my eyes, and music was filling every inch of the room. I let the music fill my whole body up, pulling us all into a different world. Hey, when words fail, music speaks. No one had to say anything, the music coming out of all of us was pure, and said it all, without having to say it at all.

We then were at our last song, _Where Are You Christmas?_, which was Bella's solo. I looked over at Rose, grinning huge at her, when Bella started her first line. Soon the whole auditorium was filled with her beautiful sound as she belted out her notes. It couldn't have been a better night. It was crazy, to hear such emotion and voice out of something so small and fragile. But that was just it. Bella wasn't small and fragile. She was strong now, she's been through hell and back, but she made it. Her strength came shining through in her voice in every note.

"_I'm not the same one, see what the time's done, is that why you had let me go?_ _I feel you Christmas, I know I found you, you never fade away." _She was at the final stage of her song, and the audience was so captured by her beautiful voice.

**JPOV(CDM)**

_"Fill your heart with love,"_ she sang beautifully ending the song, and I couldn't stop the smile that spread across my face.

She looked beautiful dressed in a long cream pleated dress with nude high heels that made her a few inches taller. She was glowing in the stage lights and everyone in the auditorium raised to their feet with applause. She bowed her head, with her cheeks burning that familiar pink, and the show was over. The parents migrated to their kids and everyone's normal posses were formed. I watched Ali and Rose migrate from their choir spot to Bella and I slipped through my crowd toward Esme.

I'm glad she gave me the memo that this is was a formal event. All the men were dressed in suits and the ladies were in dresses or slacks. I was wearing a simple black suit and jacket with a white button up, I couldn't stand ties. I felt like they were going to strangle me. Esme's face brightened when she saw me and touched Carlisle's arm.

"I'm glad you could make it," she said as she embraced me.

"Me too," I murmured.

I shook Carlisle's hand and he hugged me too. "It's good to see you Jasper."

Soon Ali and Rose rushed over to us, and Rose practically jumped on me, causing a scene. She was always good at that. I hugged her tightly with a chuckle. "Good to see you Rosie."

"I'm so glad you came! Wasn't it great?" She smiled, her whole face lighting up as she took Ali's hand.

"You girls were great," I agreed as I stepped up to give Ali and hug. She annoyed the hell out of me sometimes but I couldn't see anyone more perfect for my cousin.

"Wow you can actually clean up well," Alice joked. "For a biker looking guy."

"Who knew you could pull off a dress," I teased back.

Honestly though, the girls looked stunning. Alice was in a red and black velvety looking dress while Rose was in a green and black polka dotted dress. Truly a Christmas pair. Then the girl I wanted to see most showed up, with her father in tow. Charlie gave my hand a firm shake, with something in his eye and I cleared my throat as I looked down at Bella.

"That was amazing," I told her.

"Thank you," she whispered. "It's good to see you're back."

"That's what everyone's saying," I laughed.

"Well it's true," Rose added.

"Is everyone ready?" Esme asked.

We were apparently all going out for dinner to celebrate the show. The girls and I lingered behind the parents while everyone chatter but Bella was quiet beside me. She only really talked when someone complimented her on her singing.

I reached into my coat and pulled out a single stem rose. Bella smiled slightly when I handed it to her.

"It was getting a bit uncomfortable in my jacket," I said.

"It's beautiful. Thank you," she murmured.

"You're welcome," I nodded, then I realized it was just me and her. Rose and Alice had disappeared. How convenient. "Looks like I'm gonna have to give you a ride to the restaurant."

"Please tell me I don't have to ride your bike in this dress," she joked.

"No worries, I brought the truck," I laughed. "I wouldn't want to ruin your outfit."

"Jasper," she stopped.

"Yes?" I asked. We were alone in the school corridor near the back door where I parked.

She stepped closer to me and wrapped her arms around my neck, hugging me tightly. I held her tightly, loving how perfectly her body fit in mine. She pulled back ever so slightly and gazed into my eyes.

"Please don't pull away this time," she whispered before kissing me.

I was surprised at first but slowly melted into her. Her lips were soft and sweet against mine, better than I could've ever dreamed. I let her control the kiss and made sure I didn't get ahead of myself. I didn't want to ruin this little moment that felt too much like a dream. She pulled away and blushed.

"No need to be embarrassed Darlin'," I drawled with a smile.

"I've missed my average vigilante," she smiled back.

I groaned, "I did say that didn't I? What an ass."

She laughed, "Yes you did and I think it's cute."

"Oh great, a cute vigilante," I rolled my eyes as I gave her my coat.

She snuggled into it as we stepped out into the cold December weather. "I will never be able to say how thankful I am for you saving me," she said as I helped her in the car.

"Bella, I'm pretty sure you saved me," I said as I placed a kiss on her forehead. "And I could never be more thankful."

**Thanks again! I'll be back at some point... not sure when I'll have time to write next, but I can't help the author in me ;)**


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